I've just said this on another post but ... I know a woman like this. She spent her married life in bed sick with illnesses and depression. The only time she got out of bed and started to live was when her husband died!! He had obviously been pandering to her and enabling her to behave like that.
If I had the chance to, I would lock her bedroom door with her in it! That would prevent her coming out - then she would want to. Reverse psychology is called for here. I'd bag up all her clothes, shoes, technology, etc. and tell her that as she doesn't need them coz she's so sick you're going to give them all away. I would not bring her food, cups of coffee or fresh bedclothes. I would let her wallow in silence and solitude for a few weeks and when the lazy cow got bored, she would get up!!
Go get yourself a life and let her lie there and waste hers. Forget about her and her depression, vistit your dad and not her - she's only dragging you down anyway. She is choosing that life coz she has no future plans but you have your whole life ahead of you! You've seen how NOT to live it, so get out there and enjoy yourself.
Charlie Chaplin said "A day without laughter is a day wasted" so don't let her drag you down.
Not to shoot you down and yes you replied to my other post. She is legitimately sick. She sees doctors and gets it all in paperwork. But she does nothing to improve her health and this worries me. She just thinks pills will solve everything. I feel like an asshole for no longer being able to sympathize with her because even though I don't understand depression I don't feel bad for her not digging herself into this hole.
Oh don't get me wrong - this other lady was on dozens of tablets a day, and even in and out of hospital quite frequently. It's just that when she was forced to get up, or else starve to death in her bed, she got up! There was no-one to take care of her.
Funnily enough, she was not like that while she and her husband were dating ;o)
If the doctors and psychologists can't get her out of bed, what on earth do you imagine you can do?
Honestly, if I were you, I'd go a lot easier on myself. She is not your responsibility and she should be up caring for you. Some people soldier on and some give up, unfortunately she has chosen to opt out of your family and even society.
You're absolutely right. My mom wasn't so... the way she was when my parents were dating either. At least not to this degree. But you're right. They married because they had me. It was a crazy time in my dads life. I wish it was that easy for him to just leave her. He is a great guy and could do SO much better.
Your mom needs to realise that every single tablet she takes has its own side effects, whether it be digestion problems with her stomach, sleepiness or muscle weakness but all these chemicals are long term poison. As for doctors, they could diagnose a dozen things wrong with every one of us if they so chose!
I hope that she pulls herself together soon but you should pop in to see your dad at his work, if her 'sleepy sickness' is dragging you down! That would really shock her!!
I just go home to visit my Dad. They have separate rooms (my Mom has her living room and my Dad has his living room) so I can spend time with my Dad without spending time with my Mom because they don't have much contact with each other.
I've tried explaining this pharmaceutical mess to her but she contends that I don't understand depression v.v
Is it normal that my Mom is always this sick?
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I've just said this on another post but ... I know a woman like this. She spent her married life in bed sick with illnesses and depression. The only time she got out of bed and started to live was when her husband died!! He had obviously been pandering to her and enabling her to behave like that.
If I had the chance to, I would lock her bedroom door with her in it! That would prevent her coming out - then she would want to. Reverse psychology is called for here. I'd bag up all her clothes, shoes, technology, etc. and tell her that as she doesn't need them coz she's so sick you're going to give them all away. I would not bring her food, cups of coffee or fresh bedclothes. I would let her wallow in silence and solitude for a few weeks and when the lazy cow got bored, she would get up!!
Go get yourself a life and let her lie there and waste hers. Forget about her and her depression, vistit your dad and not her - she's only dragging you down anyway. She is choosing that life coz she has no future plans but you have your whole life ahead of you! You've seen how NOT to live it, so get out there and enjoy yourself.
Charlie Chaplin said "A day without laughter is a day wasted" so don't let her drag you down.
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Anonymous Post Author
11 years ago
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Not to shoot you down and yes you replied to my other post. She is legitimately sick. She sees doctors and gets it all in paperwork. But she does nothing to improve her health and this worries me. She just thinks pills will solve everything. I feel like an asshole for no longer being able to sympathize with her because even though I don't understand depression I don't feel bad for her not digging herself into this hole.
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joybird
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Oh don't get me wrong - this other lady was on dozens of tablets a day, and even in and out of hospital quite frequently. It's just that when she was forced to get up, or else starve to death in her bed, she got up! There was no-one to take care of her.
Funnily enough, she was not like that while she and her husband were dating ;o)
If the doctors and psychologists can't get her out of bed, what on earth do you imagine you can do?
Honestly, if I were you, I'd go a lot easier on myself. She is not your responsibility and she should be up caring for you. Some people soldier on and some give up, unfortunately she has chosen to opt out of your family and even society.
--
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You're absolutely right. My mom wasn't so... the way she was when my parents were dating either. At least not to this degree. But you're right. They married because they had me. It was a crazy time in my dads life. I wish it was that easy for him to just leave her. He is a great guy and could do SO much better.
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joybird
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Aw :o(
Your mom needs to realise that every single tablet she takes has its own side effects, whether it be digestion problems with her stomach, sleepiness or muscle weakness but all these chemicals are long term poison. As for doctors, they could diagnose a dozen things wrong with every one of us if they so chose!
I hope that she pulls herself together soon but you should pop in to see your dad at his work, if her 'sleepy sickness' is dragging you down! That would really shock her!!
--
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I just go home to visit my Dad. They have separate rooms (my Mom has her living room and my Dad has his living room) so I can spend time with my Dad without spending time with my Mom because they don't have much contact with each other.
I've tried explaining this pharmaceutical mess to her but she contends that I don't understand depression v.v
But I feel like less of an asshole now ^^;