Is it normal that my husband watches porn?

89% Normal
40 Comments

He's somewhat perverted, but I think it's normal. A lot of guys are (girls too). Some are better at being discret about it.

When we first met, he seems shy, quiet, humble. I loved that about him. He was so sweet. He still is but since we've dated and now married there have been multiple things I've learned. He used to receive naked txts from girls he grew up with. That worried me because I wasn't sure if there was some existing relationships. He assured me that there wasn't but some of the flirting txts kept happening until I made sure he understood that all of that had to change if he wanted a relationship with me.

Since then I've noticed different things. It's normal that he or I will at times use each others phones and without snooping, I've discovered sites he's looked at, videos he's watched, pictures he's saved etc...

Am I paranoid? I feel a little inadequate I think...please I only am about to say this because I have been told I'm "so hot" and "beautiful" and had friends tell me I'm "gorgeous", I don't see myself like that. Am I being silly if I said that that stuff bothered me?

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 107 votes (95 yes)
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Comments ( 40 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    Yes...It's normal for guys to watch porn.

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    • VirgilManly
      9 years ago

      Downright mandatory.

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  • Energy
    9 years ago

    It's normal for both genders to enjoy watching porn. There's nothing wrong with it. If anything, it keeps them from cheating.

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  • CoraCook
    9 years ago

    You know, OP, every time I hear stories like "he changed, promised to change" I just think the person in question just learned to hide it better. I don't mean to make you more paranoid, though. It's just that I have a good friend whose love adventures I follow, and he's told me stories in which he goes great lengths (some you wouldn't believe) to lie better and better each time he's faced with situations like these. Being a woman, I empathize with the girls he dates and think he is scum, even if I'm friends with him (I do tell him that and tell him to stop being such an ass). Anyway, his stories send me back to all the times I was actually lied to and how I simply refused to see all the signs and obvious clues.

    On the other hand, your husband could be just having some harmless fun and it's nothing to worry about. Personally, I'd be very upset if it were me, I can only find it harmless when it's someone else's relationship because my own emotions aren't involved. And yeah, watching porn is normal and it's not cheating :)

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  • howaminotmyself
    9 years ago

    I watch porn with my husband.

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    • hmmm???
      9 years ago

      If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been married? I only ask because our whole relationship from dating to marriage is pretty new. This winter will be 2 years.

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  • bfus
    9 years ago

    I don't know any guys who don't like to watch porn.

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  • spunkluvr
    4 years ago

    You looked through his pictures? You were snooping.

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  • qld37
    9 years ago

    Your partner enjoying looking at porn is completely normal. I don't think that I know a single man who does not look at porn.

    The part that 'would' concern me is the texts. That is far beyond simply enjoying the beauty of a female form, or the beauty of sex. That is communicating sexual thought with another human.

    From my own perspective, I can say that I would be furious if my partner was communicating any form of sexual thoughts with another person.

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  • richmanjoe
    9 years ago

    Here is the problem: He thinks you are uptight and is concerned about your feelings.

    If you are uptight, then maybe you should consider a divorce so you can live a lonely life alone.

    If you love your husband, then make this good for you. Watch with him, communicate about what you see, what do you like, what do you imagine, but don't want to try. If you don't like the disgusting stuff, what do you find ok? Tell him, "Honey, I see that you have been watching porn again. The next time you do that, you let me know because I am going to blow you so good that you won't make it halfway through the scene." (Guys LOVE it when their girl blows them while they are watching porn) When one of his old gfs sends a picture, comment on how hot she is or how slutty it is to do that. Ask him what he thinks if you and the other girl were making out in front of him.

    Put your free pass list together, who would you let him sleep with and visa versa? These are usually celebrities (Back when my wife and I had the lists, I used 6 degrees of separation to meet the celebrity #1 on my list, and went through with it.)

    By being very open minded about what you talk and do with each other. You can be 100% monogamous this way and your sex life will improve dramatically.

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    • hmmm???
      9 years ago

      I don't think that he thinks I'm uptight. We've talked about doing things and have done different things.

      I just think that he enjoys looking at naked women ALOT! Yeah, yeah, what guy doesn't. I know haha. And I know girls do the same thing.

      I guess I might be too sensitive but it kind of hurts my feelings. But it's stupid because if he thinks I've checked some guy out he'll say something about it. Ha! I think we're both nuts!

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  • grouper66
    9 years ago

    Abnormal for a Man not to Look at Porn.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    heres my truly awful porn story:
    Im not that tech-savvy and about 6 years ago I found an ipod in a parking garage. Nobody claimed it so I was allowed to keep it, it had some interesting songs but I didnt really know how to use it much. I showed it to my 12 year old niece because I figured kids her age are good with these devices. After a few minutes she gets this weird look and says "um, there are pictures on here..."turns out there was a bunch of porn on that thing and my niece gets a view of black on white porn! I felt like such an idiot and a bad person. I still feel awkward about that.

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    • daydreamer394
      9 years ago

      Not your fault.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Didn't see he was getting texts from girls he knew. If any of those women are within fucking distance I might be a bit worried. It doesn't mean he is cheating. It might mean he is thinking about it. Or it might mean he just likes fantasizing about sex he will never have himself. That's one food thing about porn. Stuff that's a bit out of ur comfort zone or 'reach' is easily explored thru porn.

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  • loopoo
    9 years ago

    I wouldn't mind him watching porn, but saving pictures for some reason that would piss me off.

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    • hmmm???
      9 years ago

      See... That's what got me the most! I don't understand that part and no one else really commented on that.

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      • loopoo
        9 years ago

        Yes, its one thing enjoying the video in the moment, but pictures linger, if someone else was to go through his phone I'm sure they would find it weird he has pictures of strangers when he has a girlfriend.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    9 years ago

    Watching porn is normal, it doesn't mean you're inadequate at all.

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  • Mikjall
    9 years ago

    I personally think porn is a bit stupid, but I won't let that influence my vote... in all honesty, most men watch porn, so yes, it's normal. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with sex drives. You're not inadequate in the slightest.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Very normal. Don't let it get to u.

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  • (s)aint
    9 years ago

    Basically most men enjoy porn. This does not mean that there's anything wrong with you!
    As long as he's giving you the sex you want there is nothing wrong with it at all.

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    • hmmm???
      9 years ago

      We have sex pretty regular about 2 times a day. Sometimes though (most often) he has an orgasm before I'm ready. It a little frustrating.

      I think he's been used to a lot of occasional sexual relations. Not anything consistent. I also believe that the porn that he watches has filled that void.

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      • (s)aint
        9 years ago

        Ask him about that. Sometimes men need to take a small break during intercourse to be able to hold back their ejaculation. I believe that it's a sign of a selfish lover if he or she doesn't make sure that their partner are satisfied too.

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        • hmmm???
          9 years ago

          I hate to say this, but I think he is. I don't believe he is aware that he is. I've tried to tell him in a nice way and even stopped touching him when a good bit of time has passed and he still hasn't touched me but none of that seems to work. I don't know what to do anymore, other than just be frustrated and try to get over it :(

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          • (s)aint
            9 years ago

            You have to decide how important sex is to you. Do you have a good fulfilling relationship in other aspects of your life?

            To me a selfish lover would be a deal breaker ... Sex is that important to me and I´d first address the issue and if he doesn't improve it I'm out.

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  • edna
    9 years ago

    I hope that he burns in hell for his sins against the lord Jesus Christ our savior!

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    • qld37
      9 years ago

      Piss off.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    He's probably a sex addict.

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    • hmmm???
      9 years ago

      Ha! If that were the case I'd be soooo happy!

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    • CoraCook
      9 years ago

      Since this is something you mention quite often, I'm getting more and more curious to find out numbers, like, what percentage of the population suffers from this addiction, do you know that? I'm not sure why you were thumbed down, but I will guess it's just because you say that a lot :)

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        Yes, probably so. I figure most people feel entitled to do things if those things feel good.

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      • (s)aint
        9 years ago

        I'm a sex addict and I believe that people use this term far too often about people who aren´t even close to being addicts.
        That's why I disliked the comment Rose made.

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        • hmmm???
          9 years ago

          I don't think I'm a sex addict but I think about it all the time. I enjoy sex a lot. I hope I always will!

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        • CoraCook
          9 years ago

          I can understand that. I find it interesting that you say that but don't find it a problem. Are you sure you're a sex addict? Does it interfere with all the other aspects of your life, like inability to work or keep a job because of it? Does your life revolve around sex or are you a functional citizen?

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          • (s)aint
            9 years ago

            Well, my most recent ex dumped me because of it. (I'm a girl and I dated a boy btw) When I get denied sex I get sad and angry.
            I require 1-3 times per day to be fully satisfied if I'm in the company of someone. When I get involved in a sexual activity it's easy for me to loose my judgement and "forget" protection and the likes.
            I'd however NEVER cheat. If I'm unhappy, I leave. I think about sex/sexual activities basically 24/7 and enjoy masturbation in most places- In spite of this I would label myself functional, I don't hurt people nor myself.

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            • CoraCook
              9 years ago

              How functional? Do you work? Spend time with family and friends, watch a movie, read a book, study? If it's 24/7 it sounds like a compulsion. Sometimes sex addiction is associated with a personality disorder. Can you tell if that's the case?

              Oh, and hurting yourself is not just inflicting any kind of pain. Not caring for yourself, your future and things like that can be considered harm.

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