Is it normal that my husband plays video games and ignores me?

36% Normal
19 Comments

My husband and I got married 3 months ago. His is about to finish school and entering into externship. He comes home to play video games, then goes to work and i won't see him till like 11:30pm. As soon as he gets home from the gym he goes back to his lap top to play more video games. I am 2 years older than him, and I was always told " men do not grow up as fast as women do" Does that have something to do with it? I mean he is no longer sexually interested. And if he is in the mood I have to please him and thats about it. He is extremely selfish. If it isn't for him its for no one. Is it NORMAL for him to ignore me and for him to take me for granted? Is it NORMAL?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 19 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    Yes, because not being sexually interested and enjoying competitive activities or entertainment with stories you take part in is totally "not grown up" like.

    I never liked the idea of video games being seen as something "immature", they take in many factors of what many other people in life do, such as competition, story structure, and so on.
    Usually the argument is "it isn't constructive", but is most of the stuff people do for fun "constructive"?

    That said, if he is not interested in you sexually, maybe he finds the sex life boring?

    He does need to be more involved in the relationship. If he is at the gym in his own time then goes straight to video games, then he should have free time between cutting some time off of either one of those activities.

    Do you initiate? Do you ask him to do something with you, or do you expect him to initiate it? If it's the latter, then you need to introduce some activities to enjoy together aswell.

    If you have tried all of that, then all I can say is "You picked him".

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  • Crusades
    9 years ago | pl

    Dress slutty so that he can notice you. If he doesn't, then the mailman will.

    You need a good shag.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    Videogames are fun.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago | pl

    Does he use drugs and or alcohol as well? If it doesn't work out maybe you can get an annulment.

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    • jazzybell13
      9 years ago | pl

      No he does not. The college he attends does drug test every other month. He is not a big drinker more like a social thing really. I feel like since were married he dopes not have to try anymore.

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago | pl

        Have you talked to him about all of this stuff? That's weird that the school drug tests him. I personally see that as a violation of privacy, but I digress. Where does he go to school? How long did you know this guy before you married him? It's none of my business, are you pregnant?

        It's not a good sign if he's acting like this after only three months.

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  • Ckarmatose
    9 years ago | pl

    This one made me chuckle a bit; sorry. Boys will be boys. If I'm into anything, it's a bit difficult to tear myself away. I apologize for myself, but not my species. Don't take it to heart; tell him how you feel and be reasonable. Some of us like books or working out, but it doesn't mean that love has left the building. ;D

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    • green_boogers
      9 years ago | pl

      Wish I could share your optimism. Unfortunately, it sounds as if love was never in the building.

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      • Ckarmatose
        9 years ago | pl

        You're right; Video games=Deal breaker... Heaven forbid the couple talk about their feelings. How could I be so naive?!

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        • green_boogers
          9 years ago | pl

          Btw, I decide what I am committed to, not you. You do not determine the unspoken commitment of anything on this site, nor do I or anyone else.

          I hope that's clear.

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        • green_boogers
          9 years ago | pl

          I think there is a lot of good advice on this page, including yours. Certainly 3 short months into the marriage doesn't warrant despair. As I looked at the spectrum of viewpoints, I found nothing representing the more than plausible case that this guy will never be capable of emotional intimacy. The intent of my comment was to balance what had already been said.

          I respect your optimism. But in this case, a worst case viewpoint adds realism to the discussion.

          Your friend,

          green_boogers

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago | pl

    He is a "taker" and he will never grow up. Don't rationalize yourself into thinking it will get better, because it won't. Do not have any children with this guy. You made a mistake. He will play on your sense of hope and your sense of guilt. Now make the best of the situation. Your future divorce will happen naturally when the time is right.

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  • Afer13579
    9 years ago | pl

    I mean, video games are super awesome and all, but he should pay attention to you.

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  • perfectxsilence
    9 years ago | pl

    Was he like this at all before you married him? If so, he won't change. People who are involved in video games always seem to be this way unless they get involved in therapy. You need to talk this out with him and explain to him what your marriage means to you. This has nothing to do with age and everything to do with the person. Yeah, some men do take longer to grow up and on average, a male fully matures at 30 while a female fully matures at 25 but with your situation, I'd say it's not age related.

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  • poon_jabber
    9 years ago | pl

    video games are his dope addiction

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