I've been called from day cares asking to come pick him up, because nobody is getting him to eat. That's why I had to stop working. The doctors said that he would eat when he's ready. There isn't anything that I don't do, I cook, clean. Everything. I take extra classes online while I'm home to become more qualified in life
Seems a bit tricky, and don't think I'm trying to villify you, I'm not. Couples have fucked up moments where not the best decisions are made, not the right things are said, but they're still overall good people.
Have you tried every single avenue in the food issue? Maybe different types of food? He's survived this long so he's clearly eating, maybe you're trying to give him more than he needs or things he doesn't like? I'm not a parent so I'm not a specialist.
I understand you may do quite a bit around the house and online classes but that doesn't take the strain of your partner having to provide solely. This is where I think the cause of his demeaning comments come from.
I'd maybe suggest trying to take up a job you can do at home? With hours that aren't around the time your child is at kindergarten or whatever. That could help this issue.
I may seem mean here by saying what I've said but it feels like what I've explained me be the cause of it. If you wanna opt out of the relationship then that's your choice but if you want to work on it and get it back to the way it was before then I think you need to consider getting a job of some sorts, one that could work between employment and being around your child. If you don't I think your partner will just keep getting frustrated and continue to do this.
I don't think her unemployment is the source of his frustration and acting out. She says in the OP that he called her and their son names while she was still pregnant and working. This guy has issues, that's partly why I said her getting a job won't fix anything. He has no respect for her or any real concern for the child.
A child can't stay in day care if it's not eating. What is she supposed to do? Legally for liability concerns the day care has to call the parent/hospital and get the child off their hands if there's even the slightest concern for its health. One parent has to be available to take him and that has cost them a job. This isn't exactly something they can go 50/50 on or else both of them will lose their jobs. Plus, he can't breastfeed! The compromise is, he works, she takes full responsibility for the kid, especially since he is only eating breastmilk.
Being chained to a baby and feeding it from your own body is not leisure time nor is it useless, without doing it the baby would be dead or in serious medical need and parents would be guilty of neglect.
I also don't see the great benefit in her working to bring home a bit more money, especially at the expense of their son's health and wellness. There are short and long term consequences to the level of care you give a child. There's assistance out there from parenting help to financial/food assistance, instead of trying to leave her son while he's clearly not adjusting to it well just to make a few dollars, why not apply for assistance? This is exactly what these programs are for....a hand up!
Not gonna respond in full to everything you've said because I've re-read the OP and gotta say I don't know why the hell I didn't address certain things that she mentioned that you brought up.
I must of read it too fast or something because I didn't realize it happened while she's pregnant and the telling family stuff.
So I'll deffo have to agree with ya, it's not due to unemployment, might of added to it later on but it's not the root of the issue.
I think probably she needs to talk to him, possibly some sort of councilling, or one of them needs to stay with family or friends, moreso the guy.
But yeah, I messed up, pretty lazy on my part. Ta for correcting me.
Is it normal that my husband calls me stupid everyday
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I've been called from day cares asking to come pick him up, because nobody is getting him to eat. That's why I had to stop working. The doctors said that he would eat when he's ready. There isn't anything that I don't do, I cook, clean. Everything. I take extra classes online while I'm home to become more qualified in life
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Seems a bit tricky, and don't think I'm trying to villify you, I'm not. Couples have fucked up moments where not the best decisions are made, not the right things are said, but they're still overall good people.
Have you tried every single avenue in the food issue? Maybe different types of food? He's survived this long so he's clearly eating, maybe you're trying to give him more than he needs or things he doesn't like? I'm not a parent so I'm not a specialist.
I understand you may do quite a bit around the house and online classes but that doesn't take the strain of your partner having to provide solely. This is where I think the cause of his demeaning comments come from.
I'd maybe suggest trying to take up a job you can do at home? With hours that aren't around the time your child is at kindergarten or whatever. That could help this issue.
I may seem mean here by saying what I've said but it feels like what I've explained me be the cause of it. If you wanna opt out of the relationship then that's your choice but if you want to work on it and get it back to the way it was before then I think you need to consider getting a job of some sorts, one that could work between employment and being around your child. If you don't I think your partner will just keep getting frustrated and continue to do this.
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upcomingmadame
6 years ago
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I don't think her unemployment is the source of his frustration and acting out. She says in the OP that he called her and their son names while she was still pregnant and working. This guy has issues, that's partly why I said her getting a job won't fix anything. He has no respect for her or any real concern for the child.
A child can't stay in day care if it's not eating. What is she supposed to do? Legally for liability concerns the day care has to call the parent/hospital and get the child off their hands if there's even the slightest concern for its health. One parent has to be available to take him and that has cost them a job. This isn't exactly something they can go 50/50 on or else both of them will lose their jobs. Plus, he can't breastfeed! The compromise is, he works, she takes full responsibility for the kid, especially since he is only eating breastmilk.
Being chained to a baby and feeding it from your own body is not leisure time nor is it useless, without doing it the baby would be dead or in serious medical need and parents would be guilty of neglect.
I also don't see the great benefit in her working to bring home a bit more money, especially at the expense of their son's health and wellness. There are short and long term consequences to the level of care you give a child. There's assistance out there from parenting help to financial/food assistance, instead of trying to leave her son while he's clearly not adjusting to it well just to make a few dollars, why not apply for assistance? This is exactly what these programs are for....a hand up!
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Not gonna respond in full to everything you've said because I've re-read the OP and gotta say I don't know why the hell I didn't address certain things that she mentioned that you brought up.
I must of read it too fast or something because I didn't realize it happened while she's pregnant and the telling family stuff.
So I'll deffo have to agree with ya, it's not due to unemployment, might of added to it later on but it's not the root of the issue.
I think probably she needs to talk to him, possibly some sort of councilling, or one of them needs to stay with family or friends, moreso the guy.
But yeah, I messed up, pretty lazy on my part. Ta for correcting me.
Yes he's surviving on breast milk