Look, the situation is tricky. Remember that these are two people relying on eachother to get through life, and they have to split responsibilities.
From what I've read I get the impression this has only recently started since he's had to be the only provider due to the OPs decisions, decisions that aren't warranted due to what professionals have said.
I think it's entirely understandable that OPs partner would become aggrivated with OPs decision to cut their income for reasons unneeded, putting more pressure on him.
I'm sure you're thinking he's just doing it to be spiteful, and maybe he is, I don't know, however we can't just line out the possibility that this is brought on from OP unjustly loading far more responsibility and possibly time into providing for no justified reason.
Have you ever been peed off because you've had to take responsibility for someone else's decisions that took a large amount of time? You're only human so I assume you have. Now imagine that being your life constantly now because of someone else's decisions, and then I think you'd be able to understand the possible dilemma here.
I mean we can pretend telling her he's wrong, she doesn't need to make changes herself, but that isn't going to help her if she wants a future with her man. If this is caused because she isn't doing her part to bring in income then just saying he is wrong isn't going to change him getting frustrated which causes it. If we give her advice, hard to swollow advice, then she could have a happy future with him.
If she doesn't want a future with him, then it changes everything but if she does, saying, "he's bad" and not going through it all is jus. Going to make it worse.
I see your point and agree that extra stress can make a person lash out but I think the way this guy is acting is well beyond a simple freakout. You have to have a serious lack of respect for your partner, and a really detached position from the child/childcare, to do what he's doing. Even if she did just go get a job, it's not going to fix his problems.
Well I don't think we will know 100% so all we can do is offer suggestions of what we think is most likely.
I personally think it is the job part from what she's said and possibly him having to take up more work due to it that's the cause, and he blames her for that. I don't think something like this would just be a one arguement and move on with it issue, I think it'll continue to agitate him for as long as it goes on.
I definetly agree that he's lost respect for her but I think that's only really going to be sorted if she takes on some work to bring in income, just telling him he's being disrespectful won't stop what triggeres what makes him lose respect for her.
Well she gives the impression this has only started since she quit her job. I may be wrong and if I am then pretty much everything I've said can gladly be chucked out the window but if I'm right I think it's fair to say it's likely the cause of the new attitude he has.
That's assuming we have all the necessary info in this, though. You know what it's like, we end up just getting half the story and have to read between the lines to get a little more. Lol.
How you been anyway? Long time no see. IIN still the same or have most of the old regulars left? :)
I've been ok. Honestly not great but just ok, getting by. How have you been? I come here a few times a week, jeez there's only a few regulars I recognize anymore.
Life troubles? I won't pretend to know your situation, best I can do is wish you luck in getting up whatever hill you're powering up to. :/
Not to be insensitive to your situation but I'm doing great. Got a new partner since the last disaster of a relationship and she's just right for me, met some new friends, one of them is team leader/bosses right hand man, and I've been feeding him ideas for him to go to the boss with and so much has changed, making my job easier, making the bosses job easier, and getting me and a few on the team pretty much double pay with little to no extra work, so I feel like I'm being appreciated for that.
So life for me is pretty good. :)
I rarely come on here anymore but there's a few I remember and still see. :)
It's not insensitive at all, I am glad to hear you are doing well! You deserve it. We've butted heads in the past but I always thought well of you, you are an intelligent, dashingly handsome young man with a ton of potential and it's great to see you happy and working it.
My life is kinda upside down now but I think the worst is over and the end is in sight. The shit part of it was I had to move unexpectedly and I hate where I live now, my kids had to change schools, it was a real blow because we were supposed to be buying our old house but we got fucked over. Now we live in this little apartment in a touristy town looking for a house to buy and it's just such slow going. My husband got hurt at work and he has been in a fight with them to get medical care and retraining, they don't want to do anything for him at all. All my bills are late but there's nothing I can do about it. It's all going to work out but it's hard living the day to day crap waiting for this to wrap up.
Oh yes, we certainly have. I remember when I knew you responded I was like, Damnit! Now I got a challenge! You did put me in my place a good few times. Haha.
Sounds like you're right in the middle of then worst situation but it sounds like it couldn't get any worse, which maybe is a good thing, nowhere to go but up now. I doubt it's gonna be easy but deffo think someone like yourself will be able to kick this situations ass royally.
Really sorry to hear about your situation but I'm sure you'll get through to the other side into the happy lane.
Is it normal that my husband calls me stupid everyday
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Look, the situation is tricky. Remember that these are two people relying on eachother to get through life, and they have to split responsibilities.
From what I've read I get the impression this has only recently started since he's had to be the only provider due to the OPs decisions, decisions that aren't warranted due to what professionals have said.
I think it's entirely understandable that OPs partner would become aggrivated with OPs decision to cut their income for reasons unneeded, putting more pressure on him.
I'm sure you're thinking he's just doing it to be spiteful, and maybe he is, I don't know, however we can't just line out the possibility that this is brought on from OP unjustly loading far more responsibility and possibly time into providing for no justified reason.
Have you ever been peed off because you've had to take responsibility for someone else's decisions that took a large amount of time? You're only human so I assume you have. Now imagine that being your life constantly now because of someone else's decisions, and then I think you'd be able to understand the possible dilemma here.
I mean we can pretend telling her he's wrong, she doesn't need to make changes herself, but that isn't going to help her if she wants a future with her man. If this is caused because she isn't doing her part to bring in income then just saying he is wrong isn't going to change him getting frustrated which causes it. If we give her advice, hard to swollow advice, then she could have a happy future with him.
If she doesn't want a future with him, then it changes everything but if she does, saying, "he's bad" and not going through it all is jus. Going to make it worse.
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wigz
6 years ago
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I see your point and agree that extra stress can make a person lash out but I think the way this guy is acting is well beyond a simple freakout. You have to have a serious lack of respect for your partner, and a really detached position from the child/childcare, to do what he's doing. Even if she did just go get a job, it's not going to fix his problems.
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6 years ago
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Well I don't think we will know 100% so all we can do is offer suggestions of what we think is most likely.
I personally think it is the job part from what she's said and possibly him having to take up more work due to it that's the cause, and he blames her for that. I don't think something like this would just be a one arguement and move on with it issue, I think it'll continue to agitate him for as long as it goes on.
I definetly agree that he's lost respect for her but I think that's only really going to be sorted if she takes on some work to bring in income, just telling him he's being disrespectful won't stop what triggeres what makes him lose respect for her.
Well she gives the impression this has only started since she quit her job. I may be wrong and if I am then pretty much everything I've said can gladly be chucked out the window but if I'm right I think it's fair to say it's likely the cause of the new attitude he has.
That's assuming we have all the necessary info in this, though. You know what it's like, we end up just getting half the story and have to read between the lines to get a little more. Lol.
How you been anyway? Long time no see. IIN still the same or have most of the old regulars left? :)
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I've been ok. Honestly not great but just ok, getting by. How have you been? I come here a few times a week, jeez there's only a few regulars I recognize anymore.
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Life troubles? I won't pretend to know your situation, best I can do is wish you luck in getting up whatever hill you're powering up to. :/
Not to be insensitive to your situation but I'm doing great. Got a new partner since the last disaster of a relationship and she's just right for me, met some new friends, one of them is team leader/bosses right hand man, and I've been feeding him ideas for him to go to the boss with and so much has changed, making my job easier, making the bosses job easier, and getting me and a few on the team pretty much double pay with little to no extra work, so I feel like I'm being appreciated for that.
So life for me is pretty good. :)
I rarely come on here anymore but there's a few I remember and still see. :)
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wigz
6 years ago
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It's not insensitive at all, I am glad to hear you are doing well! You deserve it. We've butted heads in the past but I always thought well of you, you are an intelligent, dashingly handsome young man with a ton of potential and it's great to see you happy and working it.
My life is kinda upside down now but I think the worst is over and the end is in sight. The shit part of it was I had to move unexpectedly and I hate where I live now, my kids had to change schools, it was a real blow because we were supposed to be buying our old house but we got fucked over. Now we live in this little apartment in a touristy town looking for a house to buy and it's just such slow going. My husband got hurt at work and he has been in a fight with them to get medical care and retraining, they don't want to do anything for him at all. All my bills are late but there's nothing I can do about it. It's all going to work out but it's hard living the day to day crap waiting for this to wrap up.
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Oh yes, we certainly have. I remember when I knew you responded I was like, Damnit! Now I got a challenge! You did put me in my place a good few times. Haha.
Sounds like you're right in the middle of then worst situation but it sounds like it couldn't get any worse, which maybe is a good thing, nowhere to go but up now. I doubt it's gonna be easy but deffo think someone like yourself will be able to kick this situations ass royally.
Really sorry to hear about your situation but I'm sure you'll get through to the other side into the happy lane.