Is it normal that my friends never contact me?

45% Normal
8 Comments

Well, in high school last year I had a fairly large group of friends. We all got along great. After we graduated and all went off to uni and got jobs etc.. none of my friends ever seem to keep in contact with me. I seldom get a text saying "hey wanna come over and watch some movies?" or whatever, but that's probably like, once every few months. I understand that my friends have started making new friends at work/uni, and they go do things with their new friends every week, but that doesn't mean they should ditch me and stop talking to me altogether, does it?
I am happy to hang out with them as they are to hang out with me, but it is ALWAYS and i literally mean ALWAYS me that is making the effort to plan things and call people up and say "hey wanna hang out?". And sometimes i just think they feel obligated that they have to. Why can't they ever text me? I am so over organising things, i just feel like giving up. I have NEVER once had a msg on facebook, or a call asking if i wanted to do something. Not even a simple "hi, how are you?". Just a couple of months ago, one of my friends invited me to go clubbing with her and one of our other friends and i was excited about it... then the day before we were supposed to go she texted me saying "hi, change of plans, not going out tomorrow. bye", and then the next day i see on her facebook that she was actually going, and didnt invite me. i was very depressed and angry about it. we havent spoken since. I also planned a NYE party at home and invited them all, but some said they are working and cant come, and the others said they are doing things with other friends, which means i will be spending the new year alone yet again. I have just gotten to the point of giving up with these people, and am hoping to make some new friends at school next year. But is it normal for my existence to be completely unacknowledged by my so called "friends"?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Happyhippos88
    13 years ago | pl

    Those arnt real friends. Real friends are hard to find. You just have to be yourself dont adjust your personality to match someone elses. If you act like yourself the friends tht truly lik you for who you are will come

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  • mrsevilrabbit
    13 years ago | pl

    Those kind of friends are fake. Live with the fact that they won´t care about you. But for example that female friend that said come to the party and then didn´t invite you, is probably going to end up alone. If she does the same things to other people, people will start ignoring her and calling her BITCH. because she is one.
    I also was in that situation, but believe me, when i ignored my crappy friends and told others what they did to me, many people disliked them. And that caused them to be alone.

    Find other friends :)

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  • joemommamia
    13 years ago | pl

    OK so I'll be your friend! Just kidding! You need to redefine what a friend is. Sounds like you have a lot of acquaintances but no real friends. You need to join a club or look elsewhere for friends. Let us know how you make out...

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  • Sanara
    1 year ago | pl

    Most people get caught up in their own life and are busy with their own stuff. It's kinda sad when friendships end like this, but it makes perfect sense. And Im probably guilty of that myself without even being aware of it since Im not a very social person naturally. If you have been apart for a long time it also gets weird to talk to each other like you used to

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    Get used it. I've moved countless times and hardly talk to any of them

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  • IIN15005
    12 years ago | pl

    Like mrsevilrabbit said, those people will one day get BURNT (and I don't mean in the afterlife necessarily, I mean someday in the nearer future...) They are obsessed with climbing the social ladder, and there will always be someone more "desireable" than they are (and those people will in turn be quick to snub the snubber.)

    More importantly, what does all this tell you about the person you want to be? Are you willing to "fight" for it every day?

    You're still at a tricky age--not a kid, but not really an adult yet. My advice to you is to have a kernel (not a stone) within you that represents what YOU think about YOU, and that is not up for debate with anyone else.

    To develop this kernel...maybe take a semester off and go work on a farm or something? Seriously, somewhere where you could have a lot of time to yourself, but still maybe an opportunity for "show and tell" maybe once a week or so.

    Hope this helps!

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  • blondie0h3
    13 years ago | pl

    they weren't real friends. make new friends, you might have more fun with your new friends anyway. change is good.

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  • treehugga
    13 years ago | pl

    as much as it hurts u 2 accept they aren't good friends ...u have 2 accept it n 4get themm.. ive been there n done dat i was just like fuck them n didnt contact them.. then they started contactin me.. i met loadsa new friends since..seriously i no u think u cant but just stop contactin dem 4get about them.. theyll cum runnin back 2 u (treat em mean keep em keen) but just make new frends.. dnt b over enthusiastic tho..

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