She is reflecting on you hardcore. Same thing just happened with me and my friend. Every time I would bring up something he was doing that I didn't like he would just reflect it back on me and claim that I was doing the same thing.
Basically, she knows she's being an asshole so the only way for her to feel better is to imagine you are doing the same thing to her. It's the same reason a lot of school bullies imagine that their victims would bully them when they look back on it later in life. They manufacture that memory as a way of justifying their own unjustifiable behavior.
Poeple like to imagine that they are good, even if they're pieces of shit. So I think if you call her out on this, your relationship is done, because she will be forced to see the truth, and she will feel so shitty she will then want to distance herself from you as a way to feel less shitty. She might even say "OK, I'll do better from now on" but really she's going to move away from YOU if you call her out, and it seems you can't stand her behavior, so ultimately there's nothing you can do. The relationship is over either way you go about it.
IIN that my friend treats me this way or is it abuse?
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She is reflecting on you hardcore. Same thing just happened with me and my friend. Every time I would bring up something he was doing that I didn't like he would just reflect it back on me and claim that I was doing the same thing.
Basically, she knows she's being an asshole so the only way for her to feel better is to imagine you are doing the same thing to her. It's the same reason a lot of school bullies imagine that their victims would bully them when they look back on it later in life. They manufacture that memory as a way of justifying their own unjustifiable behavior.
Poeple like to imagine that they are good, even if they're pieces of shit. So I think if you call her out on this, your relationship is done, because she will be forced to see the truth, and she will feel so shitty she will then want to distance herself from you as a way to feel less shitty. She might even say "OK, I'll do better from now on" but really she's going to move away from YOU if you call her out, and it seems you can't stand her behavior, so ultimately there's nothing you can do. The relationship is over either way you go about it.