The thing is that I met him when we were both kids... and I just believed that he was taking more time to mature. In fact, for me our whole friendship was based on that expectation, that he would someday change. Someone with Asperger will probably never change.
Besides, you should know that it is emotionally exhausting dealing with a person like that. I don't want my friends to be perfect, but I also don't want to act like a babysitter/slave, responding to his every whim.
What I am doing probably sounds cruel to you... but do you want to know the awful truth? I will probably feel very sad if we end our friendship... but he won't even care.
My comments keep getting deleted today for some reason.
What I wrote earlier was that I don't understand why people expect people to change. You shouldnt expect them to change to meet your needs. People with aspergers have a difficult time showing and understanding emotions. You friend will probably feel rejected for being who he is and will not understand why you rejected him out of nowhere. You shouldn't have to do whatever he says. Just hang out with him less.
I really tried to accept him for a long time. In fact, every other friend has abandoned him already in one way or another. Indeed, he never understands why people try to get their distance from him... and when I try to explain him, he gets mad at me. In fact, he gets mad at me all the time and he always says that I should stop hanging out with him (but I know he doesn't really mean it deep inside).
The thing is that we already in our mid 20s, and there are certain things that are expected from a person at this age. I don't want radical changes, I just want our friendship to be a relationship between 2 adults and not a relationship between a master and a slave or a child and a babysitter.
I tried not to respond to all his whims, but he always gets angry and acts like I explained above.
I don't know what else to tell you. It's impossible to give someone advice who wont listen. Maybe tell him first he doesn't have to agree with you but he needs to at least respectfully listen to your point of view. Friends don't always have to agree but they do need to listen.
I have never understood why people begin a relationship, whether friendship or romantic, expecting the other person to change. I also do not comprehend why people change. People have cut me off before for not changing including an ex girlfriend for 4 years. People with Asperger's have a difficult time showing the emotions they do have because they are difficult to understand. He will probably feel rejected for being who he is and will not understand why you appear to reject him out of nowhere when nothing has changed. You don't have to do everything he says either. Maybe you should just hangout with him less. It is also quite immature of you to expect someone to change to meet your needs.
The world doesn't stop just because someone has asperger. I don't agree with wanting to change people either, but I believe that certain attitudes stop being acceptable at certain age. People expect others to be more responsible and less self-centered when they become adults. I guess the "essence" should remain the same, just certain attitudes should change.
Simply being too yourself and not being expressive is not something everyone grows out of. Some people are just like this. You are too self centered to realize this and sound extremely judgmental. Please do stop being his friend. You sound like an awful person and I don't think anyone should have a friend like you. I don't understand why you believe he is going to blossom into what you expect an ideal friend to be. That is not what you sign up for when you start a relationship. When you start a relationship you like that person for who they are. Not what you think they NEED to be. That is like befriending a kid with glasses and expecting him to not have glasses one day. He might just get blinder with age so you don't have a right expecting his eyes to just repair. They might for some and they might not for others.
I don't see why you suddenly are against him since you believe he might have aspergers. You sound like a dickish friend. If he is high functioning and everything and its not causing him issues leave him the fuck alone.
It should not matter what he has just that he is your friend. If you are going to suddenly stop liking this because of this he deserves better friends than you.
He might even be aware he has something too and just might now talk about it. If that was true. So no do not harass him about what others believe he might have. If you don't like your friend the way he is stop talking to him. Hopefully he will find real friends later and they are not all jerk offs like yourself.
IIN that my friend might have Asperger and I dont know what to do?
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The thing is that I met him when we were both kids... and I just believed that he was taking more time to mature. In fact, for me our whole friendship was based on that expectation, that he would someday change. Someone with Asperger will probably never change.
Besides, you should know that it is emotionally exhausting dealing with a person like that. I don't want my friends to be perfect, but I also don't want to act like a babysitter/slave, responding to his every whim.
What I am doing probably sounds cruel to you... but do you want to know the awful truth? I will probably feel very sad if we end our friendship... but he won't even care.
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RomeoDeMontague
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My comments keep getting deleted today for some reason.
What I wrote earlier was that I don't understand why people expect people to change. You shouldnt expect them to change to meet your needs. People with aspergers have a difficult time showing and understanding emotions. You friend will probably feel rejected for being who he is and will not understand why you rejected him out of nowhere. You shouldn't have to do whatever he says. Just hang out with him less.
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I really tried to accept him for a long time. In fact, every other friend has abandoned him already in one way or another. Indeed, he never understands why people try to get their distance from him... and when I try to explain him, he gets mad at me. In fact, he gets mad at me all the time and he always says that I should stop hanging out with him (but I know he doesn't really mean it deep inside).
The thing is that we already in our mid 20s, and there are certain things that are expected from a person at this age. I don't want radical changes, I just want our friendship to be a relationship between 2 adults and not a relationship between a master and a slave or a child and a babysitter.
I tried not to respond to all his whims, but he always gets angry and acts like I explained above.
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I don't know what else to tell you. It's impossible to give someone advice who wont listen. Maybe tell him first he doesn't have to agree with you but he needs to at least respectfully listen to your point of view. Friends don't always have to agree but they do need to listen.
I have never understood why people begin a relationship, whether friendship or romantic, expecting the other person to change. I also do not comprehend why people change. People have cut me off before for not changing including an ex girlfriend for 4 years. People with Asperger's have a difficult time showing the emotions they do have because they are difficult to understand. He will probably feel rejected for being who he is and will not understand why you appear to reject him out of nowhere when nothing has changed. You don't have to do everything he says either. Maybe you should just hangout with him less. It is also quite immature of you to expect someone to change to meet your needs.
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The world doesn't stop just because someone has asperger. I don't agree with wanting to change people either, but I believe that certain attitudes stop being acceptable at certain age. People expect others to be more responsible and less self-centered when they become adults. I guess the "essence" should remain the same, just certain attitudes should change.
--
RomeoDeMontague
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Simply being too yourself and not being expressive is not something everyone grows out of. Some people are just like this. You are too self centered to realize this and sound extremely judgmental. Please do stop being his friend. You sound like an awful person and I don't think anyone should have a friend like you. I don't understand why you believe he is going to blossom into what you expect an ideal friend to be. That is not what you sign up for when you start a relationship. When you start a relationship you like that person for who they are. Not what you think they NEED to be. That is like befriending a kid with glasses and expecting him to not have glasses one day. He might just get blinder with age so you don't have a right expecting his eyes to just repair. They might for some and they might not for others.
I don't see why you suddenly are against him since you believe he might have aspergers. You sound like a dickish friend. If he is high functioning and everything and its not causing him issues leave him the fuck alone.
It should not matter what he has just that he is your friend. If you are going to suddenly stop liking this because of this he deserves better friends than you.
He might even be aware he has something too and just might now talk about it. If that was true. So no do not harass him about what others believe he might have. If you don't like your friend the way he is stop talking to him. Hopefully he will find real friends later and they are not all jerk offs like yourself.