Oh my god its like looking into a mirror! My mom is bipolar and my dad has done the exact same thing. My mom always got jumpy when people talk about pedophiles, and one time i mentioned feeling uncomfortable around my dad and she kind of freaked out and changed the subject. i live away from them now but i worked with a therapist specializing in sexual assault to put together my memory. Alot of times we think of traumas like this as "not real" what resonates the most with me about your story is THE DREAM. 9 year olds litterally CANT imagine rape. How would your 9 year old mind come up with that before you even know what sex is? Unless youve been exposed to some kind of sexual abuse, or witnessed some kind of violent sexual behavior (not nessecarily by your dad) but somehow 9 year old you had a dream about it so graphic youre STILL remembering it years later. I had a "dream" that someone was touching me while i was sleeping. And guess what?
Maybe im projecting my story onto you, but my opinion is that you should tell your mom you feel uncomfortable with your dads comments to start, just so she knows how you feel about it, and ask if you can see a therapist. if you absoloutly cant tell your dad you dont like what hes saying, maybe your mom can tell him, and the sooner you get into therapy, (with a therapist specializing in abuse hopefully) the sooner you can unravel whats really going on with you, abuse or not.
People who say that others are "putting ideas into your head" have never been sexually assaulted and dont know that you cant just "Convince yourself" that youve been sexually assaulted. You either have or you havnt, and the human mind is a complicated thing that only wants to protect itself. most survivors dont remember thier abuse till they get older and start having strange feelings or memories.
Theres only so much strangers can guess on the internet, but i hope youre okay either way.
IIN that my dad makes comments about my body & makes me uncomfortable?
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Oh my god its like looking into a mirror! My mom is bipolar and my dad has done the exact same thing. My mom always got jumpy when people talk about pedophiles, and one time i mentioned feeling uncomfortable around my dad and she kind of freaked out and changed the subject. i live away from them now but i worked with a therapist specializing in sexual assault to put together my memory. Alot of times we think of traumas like this as "not real" what resonates the most with me about your story is THE DREAM. 9 year olds litterally CANT imagine rape. How would your 9 year old mind come up with that before you even know what sex is? Unless youve been exposed to some kind of sexual abuse, or witnessed some kind of violent sexual behavior (not nessecarily by your dad) but somehow 9 year old you had a dream about it so graphic youre STILL remembering it years later. I had a "dream" that someone was touching me while i was sleeping. And guess what?
Maybe im projecting my story onto you, but my opinion is that you should tell your mom you feel uncomfortable with your dads comments to start, just so she knows how you feel about it, and ask if you can see a therapist. if you absoloutly cant tell your dad you dont like what hes saying, maybe your mom can tell him, and the sooner you get into therapy, (with a therapist specializing in abuse hopefully) the sooner you can unravel whats really going on with you, abuse or not.
People who say that others are "putting ideas into your head" have never been sexually assaulted and dont know that you cant just "Convince yourself" that youve been sexually assaulted. You either have or you havnt, and the human mind is a complicated thing that only wants to protect itself. most survivors dont remember thier abuse till they get older and start having strange feelings or memories.
Theres only so much strangers can guess on the internet, but i hope youre okay either way.