Is it normal that my boyfriends rape really bothers me?

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14 Comments

Awhile ago my boyfriend told me about when he got raped when he was 14. I’m the first person he’s ever told so it was a big deal for him. We haven’t talked about it since, but it just bothers me. The thought of someone hurting him and humiliating him literally makes me sick. When I think too hard about it I can’t help but cry. It doesn't interfere with our relationship or our sex life or anything, I just can’t seem to get over the fact that this has happened to him.

I had two other people who where also victims of rape share their story with me before, but none of them quite bothered me like his did.

Is it normal that it bugs me as much as it does?
Am I overreacting?

(I'm 18 he's almost 19, in case you're wondering)

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Thatguy777
    10 years ago | pl

    You're basically asking if it's normal that you love and care for your boyfriend. Of course it's normal. He's lucky to have someone like you.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    10 years ago | pl

    It is normal that it bothers you and I completely understand. When a loved one is hurt, you hurt too. Perfectly normal.

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  • bumblecreek
    10 years ago | pl

    You obviously care a lot about him, that's very sweet.
    Rape is a very despicable thing, but unfortunately it happens. You have to be strong for your boyfriend, and if you just keep loving him and caring for him the way you do, you're giving him a much better life, and he has you to find comfort in. Just think about that.

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  • Goomats
    10 years ago | pl

    I understand. My boyfriend had a rough upbringing and has scars he won't talk about including a giant keloid on his nipple and a burn mark on his shoulder. I worry about these things and wish he could talk about them. They make me angry and sad.

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  • ygrowup
    10 years ago | pl

    I am sorry for both of you and your pains, counseling is about the only way to put it behind you.

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  • Mmmpfh
    10 years ago | pl

    I've been in a similar situation. A female friend told me about how she had been sexually abused in the past, and even though it was only a once off situation it was painful to listen to. No one should have to go through that.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago | pl

    Yes it's normal you care for him so you do not wish any pain to be inflicted upon him.

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  • mordekitty
    10 years ago | pl

    It would bother me too if that happened to my bf.

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  • bbunsup
    8 years ago | pl

    most men would not say... he trusts you... the hurt you feel in natural

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  • Denagirl_27
    10 years ago | pl

    Was there closure? Was the person who did it brought to justice. I know for me, when I hear about something really bad it always lingers and bothers me if I know that nothing was done about it. If this is your BF's most deepest darkest sercret and He really really doesnt want anyone to know, (as is the case most of the time in these situations) try to talk to him. A BIG part of the healing process is getting it off your chest! It was a big step, him telling you, now it should be a little more easier him telling his parents or the athorities now. He will feel a lot better when justice is served, and so will you!

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    10 years ago | pl

    it's normal to be concerned about someone you love.

    not only that but the attacker apparently was never brought to justice.

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  • Imsupernormal
    10 years ago | pl

    Your boyfriend must be GAY.

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