Amen to that! My father has had a lot of complications from his back surgery, and while it may be understandable in regards to his pain my mom doesn't put up with one iota of verbal or emotional abuse. If he talks like an ass she scolds him straightaway, and thankfully he immediately apologizes.
I think to put up with his ocassional bad behavior would be to enable and encourage it.
For example, I love dogs and I'd be more than happy to foster, train, encourage and rehabilitate one, but I ain't putting up with a vicious one.
I think we're in general agreement, but I also think that people suffering chronic pain (physical OR emotional) should be given a bit of leeway by loved ones when it comes to being short tempered or irritable, although obviously not to the point of abuse.
For example, I have longterm PTSD from being raped and when something or someone triggers it I sometimes can't help over-reacting: not an excuse but a reason.
There's also the issue of medication causing behavioural changes, which isn't uncommon.
I find your dog analogy rather superficial, because the option usually taken with a vicious dog which can't be rehabilitated is to put them down, which would be rather drastic to apply to verbally abusive humans, even if sometimes we'd like to resort to it!
I'm not advocating that anyone put down OP'S boyfriend, but I don't believe in putting up with verbal abuse. I have more than my share of physical and emotional issues, but I see a therapist and go to a 12 Step program for codependency so I know it's not my right to take out my pain on others. If they're legitimately doing something to upset me I'll tell them then remove myself from the situation if they don't care to stop.
Is it normal that my boyfriend should be distant while sick?
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Amen to that! My father has had a lot of complications from his back surgery, and while it may be understandable in regards to his pain my mom doesn't put up with one iota of verbal or emotional abuse. If he talks like an ass she scolds him straightaway, and thankfully he immediately apologizes.
I think to put up with his ocassional bad behavior would be to enable and encourage it.
For example, I love dogs and I'd be more than happy to foster, train, encourage and rehabilitate one, but I ain't putting up with a vicious one.
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Ellenna
7 years ago
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I think we're in general agreement, but I also think that people suffering chronic pain (physical OR emotional) should be given a bit of leeway by loved ones when it comes to being short tempered or irritable, although obviously not to the point of abuse.
For example, I have longterm PTSD from being raped and when something or someone triggers it I sometimes can't help over-reacting: not an excuse but a reason.
There's also the issue of medication causing behavioural changes, which isn't uncommon.
I find your dog analogy rather superficial, because the option usually taken with a vicious dog which can't be rehabilitated is to put them down, which would be rather drastic to apply to verbally abusive humans, even if sometimes we'd like to resort to it!
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RoseIsabella
7 years ago
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I'm not advocating that anyone put down OP'S boyfriend, but I don't believe in putting up with verbal abuse. I have more than my share of physical and emotional issues, but I see a therapist and go to a 12 Step program for codependency so I know it's not my right to take out my pain on others. If they're legitimately doing something to upset me I'll tell them then remove myself from the situation if they don't care to stop.