She spent the night in some guys dorm chatting. It is normal to be mad at her. It is not comparable to a real controlling relationship. And it is not about interaction with the other gender making him angry.
I never stated that it was sexual so just remove that ignorant assumption from you're mind. Now personally in my opinion I think he should be a bit more trusting and she should respect the relationship a bit more. And it is human nature to question and assume things so you are not a blind sheep believing any lie you hear male or female. And personally if I was the guy I would be a tad bit jealous that she was associating with a guy like that but then I would be re leaved that she told me what had happened. And the same thing would happen if the gender roles where switched. What I mean is it is human nature to be mad no matter what gender you are.
Now now now... Before we get into using words like "ignorant" it's best to remove phrases such as "you're" when you mean "your" as the possessive.
The "I'm smarter than you are" shtick doesn't work if you misspell your insults.
Now if you want to disagree with me fine. If you can't do it without degrading into insults then you've already lost the fight.
Now back to the topic on hand: is it wrong for a woman to hang out with another man and chat for a long time? If it's for 5 hours is it wrong? Or is it only wrong if those 5 hours took place during bed time?
If the answer is "yes" that it's wrong because it's during bed time, then you cannot ignore the sexual aspect of the assumptions. If it was OK for her to do this during the day when there is no mental association with sexual intercourse then... you cannot discount the assumption.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. (Ignoring impeached presidents of course and their cigar sex games) Sometimes you can read too much into an innocent situation.
Usually it's because the person reading into it WANTS to look at it that way.
Kinda like what happened to me one night. I was out at a club dancing on country night. I liked country music and dancing. Even before my boyfriend at the time, I liked going out and dancing and talking to my friends. The boyfriend in question wasn't a country fan though so I usually didn't go as much, but sometimes I went alone just so I could enjoy something I normally enjoyed.
However one man decided I was a cheating wore because ... I was dancing in public with other men. Not even dirty dancing either... I think the most I did was a country 2 step with a friend.
The man however wanted to see me as a slut so he chose to view it that way.
Did it make me a whore or a slut or a woman who did the wrong thing? Nope. It was simply him being judgmental. Even the bf at the time didn't side against me. He asked me about it - cos the ass went to him to spread his lies - but when he heard my side he realized ... I wasn't anything the other man had claimed. I was just a woman who wanted to dance to country music once in a while. (and mostly it was line dancing actually).
So it's best to withhold the assumptions and never jump right into the "she's bad" pool without reviewing one's own personal thoughts on sex or the person in question.
Next I just really hate people who assume I meant something but I really meant something else
Next part:2 I can not spell worth shit or use my grammar correctly but I try.
On topic yes there are dumb asses who will be freak out about there partner dancing with the other gender. But I can see how someone would be jealous if the person you cared for the most would be doing something else with out you. This is reasonable. Getting furiously angry and trying to hurt your partner using words or physical abuse is unreasonable and pointless and if you are stupid then you would do so. I am trying to say being jealous happens to us all I am now done.
the only person who was mad about my "behavior" was the moron who assumed "dancing and talking to men = cheating"
And that's the problem. If she's not cheating then carrying on like she is... is stupid.
Unless that person is looking for an excuse to treat her badly, or to blame her for something.
IIN that my boyfriend is mad I spent all night talking to a guy?
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She spent the night in some guys dorm chatting. It is normal to be mad at her. It is not comparable to a real controlling relationship. And it is not about interaction with the other gender making him angry.
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
11 years ago
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that's because if you keep focusing on "spent the night" you still make it sound sexual.
Change it to "hung out with a friend and chatted for 6 hours" then... o look it doesn't sound so sexual anymore.
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keeping_up_with_da_kids
11 years ago
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I never stated that it was sexual so just remove that ignorant assumption from you're mind. Now personally in my opinion I think he should be a bit more trusting and she should respect the relationship a bit more. And it is human nature to question and assume things so you are not a blind sheep believing any lie you hear male or female. And personally if I was the guy I would be a tad bit jealous that she was associating with a guy like that but then I would be re leaved that she told me what had happened. And the same thing would happen if the gender roles where switched. What I mean is it is human nature to be mad no matter what gender you are.
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
11 years ago
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Now now now... Before we get into using words like "ignorant" it's best to remove phrases such as "you're" when you mean "your" as the possessive.
The "I'm smarter than you are" shtick doesn't work if you misspell your insults.
Now if you want to disagree with me fine. If you can't do it without degrading into insults then you've already lost the fight.
Now back to the topic on hand: is it wrong for a woman to hang out with another man and chat for a long time? If it's for 5 hours is it wrong? Or is it only wrong if those 5 hours took place during bed time?
If the answer is "yes" that it's wrong because it's during bed time, then you cannot ignore the sexual aspect of the assumptions. If it was OK for her to do this during the day when there is no mental association with sexual intercourse then... you cannot discount the assumption.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. (Ignoring impeached presidents of course and their cigar sex games) Sometimes you can read too much into an innocent situation.
Usually it's because the person reading into it WANTS to look at it that way.
Kinda like what happened to me one night. I was out at a club dancing on country night. I liked country music and dancing. Even before my boyfriend at the time, I liked going out and dancing and talking to my friends. The boyfriend in question wasn't a country fan though so I usually didn't go as much, but sometimes I went alone just so I could enjoy something I normally enjoyed.
However one man decided I was a cheating wore because ... I was dancing in public with other men. Not even dirty dancing either... I think the most I did was a country 2 step with a friend.
The man however wanted to see me as a slut so he chose to view it that way.
Did it make me a whore or a slut or a woman who did the wrong thing? Nope. It was simply him being judgmental. Even the bf at the time didn't side against me. He asked me about it - cos the ass went to him to spread his lies - but when he heard my side he realized ... I wasn't anything the other man had claimed. I was just a woman who wanted to dance to country music once in a while. (and mostly it was line dancing actually).
So it's best to withhold the assumptions and never jump right into the "she's bad" pool without reviewing one's own personal thoughts on sex or the person in question.
--
keeping_up_with_da_kids
11 years ago
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First off I never said I was smarter then you.
Next I just really hate people who assume I meant something but I really meant something else
Next part:2 I can not spell worth shit or use my grammar correctly but I try.
On topic yes there are dumb asses who will be freak out about there partner dancing with the other gender. But I can see how someone would be jealous if the person you cared for the most would be doing something else with out you. This is reasonable. Getting furiously angry and trying to hurt your partner using words or physical abuse is unreasonable and pointless and if you are stupid then you would do so. I am trying to say being jealous happens to us all I am now done.
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
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oddly enough he wasn't even jealous
the only person who was mad about my "behavior" was the moron who assumed "dancing and talking to men = cheating"
And that's the problem. If she's not cheating then carrying on like she is... is stupid.
Unless that person is looking for an excuse to treat her badly, or to blame her for something.