He does sound "messed up" and quite self-destructive too.
I think you are normal for continuing to love him despite he negative behavior. It probably has nothing to do with you too. It doesn't sound like you've talked to him yet about this, I think you should. Tell him how much you love him and are concerned about him, but don't allow him to pull the wool over your eyes and say whatever it is you want to hear from him. If he is unrepentant for deceiving you, then find a new boyfriend. Discuss ways that you can improve and strengthen your relationship instead of focusing entirely on everything that has gone wrong.
Is it normal that my boyfriend is completely messed up?
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He does sound "messed up" and quite self-destructive too.
I think you are normal for continuing to love him despite he negative behavior. It probably has nothing to do with you too. It doesn't sound like you've talked to him yet about this, I think you should. Tell him how much you love him and are concerned about him, but don't allow him to pull the wool over your eyes and say whatever it is you want to hear from him. If he is unrepentant for deceiving you, then find a new boyfriend. Discuss ways that you can improve and strengthen your relationship instead of focusing entirely on everything that has gone wrong.