Is it normal that my boyfriend doesn't cum?

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14 Comments

Mostly due to porn, my boyfriend has developed the ability to last in bed... a REALLY long time. I like to think I'm rather experienced in that department so it's kind of hard on my self esteem when I can't get him to cum.

No matter the position, handjob, or blowjob, still the only way he ejaculates is incredibly fast masturbation (which doesn't take him longer than a minute) yet we can go for hours without getting a drop out of him...

Is it normal for a guy to last this long?

Voting Results
20% Normal
Based on 15 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    ^^^ I just read Devyns reply there. Maybe he'd be interested in going without sex and masturbation for a while if you tell him not making him cum makes you feel bad. If he waited until he was really turned on it might help him cum for you?

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Sounds like he's sort of desensitized himself. The sex ed teacher used to tell the guys that if they were going masturbate do it in a condom to get used to it lol She also said don't do the "death grip." Which is holding your penis to tightly. This affect sexual performace, and a normal vagina wont satisfy. She also recommended lube lol She was an odd sex ed teacher xD Her warnings were not unwaranted though. I guess these things really do happen

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  • Naamah
    11 years ago

    I don't think that the main cause of his troubles is porn but his masturbation technique. The problem is that he may be used to "incredibly fast" stimulation which can't be produced by another person's body movements. The habit of fast masturbation may be developed and fixated when a boy doesn't have enough privacy to masturbate and in case he needs sexual release, he has to do it very quickly not to get caught or make other people such as family members wonder what the hell he has been doing so long at the toilet etc.
    Devyn's suggestion seems quite wise. If your boyfriend won't masturbate for some time (or not do it so fast), sooner or later he will need sexual relief and will cum even if the stimulation won't be so intense as he is used to. He is likely to become more sensitive in that case and it can be a good start to deal with the problem. Hopefully, you will succeed and be able to make him cum and he will be able to orgasm with you in shorter time.

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  • quentari
    11 years ago

    It's not all that COMMON for a guy to last that long, but that doesn't make it not normal.

    It might be that he masturbates too much... but it might also something else. Talk to him about it.

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  • FuzzyxPickles
    11 years ago

    My boyfriend has a fairly similar issue. It's pretty normal for a guy to be able to get himself off much quicker than a girl can get him off. He knows exactly what to do to make himself cum. However, don't take it personally, just talk to your guy, ask him to give you details about what he likes. Try different positions and the like until you find something that works out for both of you. Open communication is the key.

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  • DADNSCAL
    11 years ago

    There may be an organic reason. Is he circumcised? Some men's foreskin is so thick that they need more stimulation to orgasm. He may want to consult a doctor, and have himself cut.

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    • Naamah
      11 years ago

      I think that this "theory" is quite inaccurate - even if the OP's boyfriend was not circumcised it is unlikely that it would cause such problems with his (in)ability to orgasm from his girlfriend's stimulation. Actually, the opposite is likely to be true - i.e. if a guy is circumcised, he may last longer in comparison with uncircumcised guy (in general, of course, there are individual differences so it is not always so) and the explanation why it is so is often cited by sexogists or mentioned in books dealing with sexual dysfunctions. The head of a circumcised penis is exposed all the time and becomes less sensitive as a result of constant friction. In case of uncircumcised penis, it is covered by foreskin when the penis is flacid so it doesn't become less sensitive because of constant friction. When the uncircumcied penis is erect, foreskin usually retracts, head of the penis becomes exposed and its full sensitivity causes that less intense stimulation is required to make an uncircumcised guy cum.

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      • DADNSCAL
        11 years ago

        Hey, thanks for yet he info. You. Destroyed a misconception I had. I looked it up, and you're quite right; I stand corrected. So maybe I was on the right track after all, because she says her b/f's circumcised.

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        • Naamah
          11 years ago

          Thanks. I am glad that my comment has served a good purpose. Not all people are as open-minded as you are to different opinions to look it up somewhere. I think it was useful that you pointed to the influence of circumcision - at least some people who haven't realized this factor may play a role here are aware that circumcision may impact the sensitivity and the intensity of stimulation needed to achieve an orgasm.

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    • MargieRooster
      11 years ago

      He's circumcised.

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  • DannyKanes
    11 years ago

    So.........what's the problem?

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    • MargieRooster
      11 years ago

      I feel like I'm not doing my job. It hurts my self esteem and makes me feel like I'm not good enough to make him ejaculate...

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      • Devyn
        11 years ago

        make him stop masturbating for a month or something, then he'll become more sensitive.

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      • Diver2
        8 years ago

        Stick your finger up his ass while you are sucking his cock Margie.

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