Ugh.. I had a ex-boyfriend exactly like this before. Same problem too!
Basically, there's nothing wrong with his fantasies or fetish, it's just his way of going about it is unhealthy and selfish. Think about it, he's well-aware that role-playing makes you uncomfortable, yet he keeps asking and showing obvious disappointment. This tactic is called guilt-tripping. He's presenting you with what he wants, and punishing you with his sadness or groveling, as if saying, "You don't want me to be happy?" or "Come on, do it just once!" Sadly, it's extremely effective, especially if you have strong feelings toward the person who is guilt-tripping you, because of course you want to see them happy.
What to do? Talk to him about how you're feeling. Try to see if you two can compromise, so you both can be happy and aroused together. If he makes excuses, bargaining (ex: if you do this, I do that for you!"), or just simply refusing to budge on his fantasy, then you may have a problem.
Unfortunately, in my experiences, talking it out never solved the issue. Eventually, his selfishness started appearing in other aspect of our relationship over the years.
I have talked to him about it then he doesn't ask for awhile and then bam! It's happening all over again. He always tells me I'm not meaning to make u do it. If I can get better at it then ya maybe I will consider it. But I literally suck at role playing. And I keep thinking maybe it's bec I don't like it. Like last night he asked again I just looked at him and said I'm taking a shower. I don't understand why he doesn't get it. Or is it all men are like this.
Sadly, he's neither going to stop, nor start caring about your discomfort. If you do choose to try practicing and forcing yourself to like it, I really hope he appreciate your effort.
However, as someone who been through a similar situation, I can confidently say that not all men are like this, and that if you can't find happiness with this guy, you can definitely find it with another if you choose carefully.
Is it normal that my boyfreind wants me to be controlling in bed ?
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Ugh.. I had a ex-boyfriend exactly like this before. Same problem too!
Basically, there's nothing wrong with his fantasies or fetish, it's just his way of going about it is unhealthy and selfish. Think about it, he's well-aware that role-playing makes you uncomfortable, yet he keeps asking and showing obvious disappointment. This tactic is called guilt-tripping. He's presenting you with what he wants, and punishing you with his sadness or groveling, as if saying, "You don't want me to be happy?" or "Come on, do it just once!" Sadly, it's extremely effective, especially if you have strong feelings toward the person who is guilt-tripping you, because of course you want to see them happy.
What to do? Talk to him about how you're feeling. Try to see if you two can compromise, so you both can be happy and aroused together. If he makes excuses, bargaining (ex: if you do this, I do that for you!"), or just simply refusing to budge on his fantasy, then you may have a problem.
Unfortunately, in my experiences, talking it out never solved the issue. Eventually, his selfishness started appearing in other aspect of our relationship over the years.
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Nichole2016
7 years ago
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I have talked to him about it then he doesn't ask for awhile and then bam! It's happening all over again. He always tells me I'm not meaning to make u do it. If I can get better at it then ya maybe I will consider it. But I literally suck at role playing. And I keep thinking maybe it's bec I don't like it. Like last night he asked again I just looked at him and said I'm taking a shower. I don't understand why he doesn't get it. Or is it all men are like this.
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Tealights
7 years ago
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Sadly, he's neither going to stop, nor start caring about your discomfort. If you do choose to try practicing and forcing yourself to like it, I really hope he appreciate your effort.
However, as someone who been through a similar situation, I can confidently say that not all men are like this, and that if you can't find happiness with this guy, you can definitely find it with another if you choose carefully.