Is it normal that my bf is....

64% Normal
9 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now. We have a great relationship and we are pretty much open about everything, except this one little thing. With all my heart I truly believe my boyfriend is bi-sexual or bi-curious. I honestly truly believe this. Sometimes he wants me to put my finger in his butt and that's fine, I kind of like that... gives me some sort of power trip but about 2 or 3 times he has asked me to get my dildo and put it in his butt. So the first thing I thought was omg that is hot, than after I thought about it more and more I'm like omg ew what is wrong with him. So I did it and it was some what sexy and some what disturbing. But the worst part of it all is when he is horny and I say something along the lines of "we should have a 3 sum" he replies ya I'll suck his d*** and swallow his cum and blah blah blah and I feel that no man should be having those words come out his mouth. Also one time I was using my dildo on him he took my hand and put the dildo in his mouth and started sucking it. I wanted to cry... thinking the person I love can be a down low gay guy. I have no problem with gay or lesbians whatsoever but someone who is down low bothers me 100%. So I've thought about asking him if he's gay a lot and finally one day I did and of course he gets mad and starts yelling... saying omg no I'm not, If i was than I wouldn't be with you and than a few minutes after him yelling, he says we shouldn't be together anymore. I said okay and a few minutes later he starts crying and apologizes and says he didn't mean what he said... he was just angry. I really think he may be fully gay but embarrassed to come out the closet. On a few occasions, I'd say "baby you know if you were ever gay I hope you'd know I'd still love you and be there for you.. just so he knows I'll be there to support him 100% and not make fun of him. Of course he says he's not gay and never will be. The things he says in bed make me think different. And one time we were at a carnival and I swear I saw him staring at these 2 guys, and in a sexual kind of way. I was disgusted to the point I wanted to throw up. I love him and we have been talking about marriage a lot... but I don't want to give my life to someone who is curious and than does something without me there and than starts to live a double life. Is this normal behavior or is it just me thinking too much?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 11 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    I can see how him freaking out when you asked could make you feel like he's hiding being bi. I think he probably got mad for a different reason though. Him asking you to do those sort of things probably took a lot of guts. He obviously trusted and felt close enough to you to ask. You asking him if he's gay could have set off some insecurities he had about the whole anal thing. I read that and didn't think you had a whole lot to worry about. If he was gay he would be more afraid to ask for anal stimuation cause he'd want to keep it a secret. If anything, like you said, he could be bi-curious. If he is, then he's handling it in a healthy manner and indulging in these fantasies with you apposed to a man. Anyone who is bi-sexual and wants to be in a relationship has to choose one gender or the other. You said you would be supportive if he came out that he was gay. So I think you supporting that he'd possibly bi isn't so bad either. He chose you, that's what matters. If you guys are happy aside from you worrying he's gay, then you've got nothing to worry about. I doubt he's gay :P

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    • Usmcxo3
      11 years ago

      That was a big help. Thank You (:

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  • Maya05
    11 years ago

    Him freaking out like that at a simple question makes me wonder. He could be having conflicting emotions or attractions towards men and could be in denial Doesn't mean he is gay though. If he was without a doubt straight then why would he freak out at such a question? Unless he absolutely hates gays and is offended that you think he may be gay.

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  • quentari
    11 years ago

    He may have felt offended by you asking if he's gay if he's noticed you looking disgusted at the thought of him being gay. He's probably just bi-curious at the most, be glad! that means you get to have a man-man-woman threesome!

    Seriously though, ccjigsaw is probably right :)

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    • Usmcxo3
      11 years ago

      Lol thnx... you guys made me not as worried now.... Huge help!

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    You don't have a problem with gay people but you call them "down low" and say it disgusts you? I don't think there's anything wrong with your bf except some closeted bisexual tedancies that really seem to be bothering him... you on the other hand, I do have a problem with. This post reeks of bigotry.

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    • Usmcxo3
      11 years ago

      I said I don't have a problem with gay people or lesbians at all. My brother is gay BUT when people are down low meaning they have girlfriends and sleep around with men on the down low or vise versa THAN I have a problem with it. There is a difference.

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        Ahhh. I've never heard that phrasing before.

        Just becasue he may have some bisexual tendancies doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating. Has he been acting suspicious in any way aside from his seeming attraction to men?

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        • weallhidestuff
          11 years ago

          yeah... on the "down low"= living a str8 life on the outside while also secretly living a gay lifestyle....

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