I'm not saying it wasn't wrong, and one should never simply roll over and accept abuse, no matter what form it takes. That being said, the OP says she's "much older", and while it's good to realize what happened for what it was - abuse, I think she's making a good choice in not getting mired in anger, shame, a need for vengeance, etc.
What's important is to try and reconcile the situation in your mind and repair what damage has been done by confronting it, learning and growing from the overall experience. A psychologist or therapist would be a very smart move, as they have extensive training in how to help you do this.
IIN that my babysitter was my first sexual encounter? (both female)
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I'm not saying it wasn't wrong, and one should never simply roll over and accept abuse, no matter what form it takes. That being said, the OP says she's "much older", and while it's good to realize what happened for what it was - abuse, I think she's making a good choice in not getting mired in anger, shame, a need for vengeance, etc.
What's important is to try and reconcile the situation in your mind and repair what damage has been done by confronting it, learning and growing from the overall experience. A psychologist or therapist would be a very smart move, as they have extensive training in how to help you do this.