Is it normal that men are so easily losing interest?
Why are so many men not interested in anything long term? Why are they running away for it? And yes even when the women in question don't try to claim or stalk them.
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RoseIsabella
You need to relax, because if you seem desperate it will scare most sane people away. Try to relax, and work on being the best version of yourself that you can be.
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Clarissa
Thanks RoseIsabella, I appreciate your comment.
Actually I'm not really desperate. But I have come to a point that I can't take all this fake behavior anymore. If you don't like me that's fine, but don't act like you do, you know what I mean?Comment Hidden ( show )
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RoseIsabella
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I agree with Rose. You sound desperate which is unattractive. You also sound frustrated.
I don't care what others say but I agree with those that say you're a bit tightly wound. Your words sound short and clipped.
Lighten up a little and relax.
Are you frigid? Yes that's a serious question because a lot of people are. If you are that's ok but bring other qualities to the table.
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Clarissa
Desperate, no. Frustrated, hell yes! I'm sick and tired of all those slimy figures just acting like Mr charming with only in the back of their heads to use women for their pleasure. I have way too much self esteem to put up with that any longer.
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RoseIsabella
Oh, honey child, I feel ya on that one, but so do a lot of other women. You just have to weed out the jerks. Don't be in a rush to sleep with anybody, and that way they will give up, and leave you alone before they can use you, and throw you away. Beware of people who are super eager, and very charming types! Always remember that actions speak louder than words.
A person can promise you that moon, but it don't mean a thing, cause can't no damn body lasso the moon.
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Clarissa
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RoseIsabella
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It was just a question to try to figure it out. She chose not to answer.
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Clarissa
You're right. It wasn't intentionally though. I actually didn't know the meaning of the word, since English isn't my mother tongue. But now that I do, well, it depends in what way you meant it. According to the dictionary there are quite a few meanings to it. For now I'll just take it as the first meaning 'very cold'. I can say for certain that I'm not a cold person. But it does depend on many things which part(s) of myself I show to any given person.
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RoseIsabella
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McBean
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RoseIsabella
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McBean
Maybe not, but men are much more sensitive to this than women are. The perception is more important than is the actuality. Smooth flowing emotions that are coupled with reasonable perceptions would be a good sign here. The more permanent type males that she is seeking want signs of emotional health. "Score and dump" guys don't care.
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[Old Memory]
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LloydAsher
Could it be that you are too overbearing on guys. Because there is a ratio to how much shit we can take and let me tell you it drops the more we have sex.
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RoseIsabella
That's jacked up, and you don't speak for all males. Neither, I nor anyone on here speaks for all females either of course. We don't know for sure if she's overbearing, or not, because we haven't seen her interact with anyone.
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Clarissa
You mean the more sex you have the less shit you can take? That's hard to believe lol
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LloydAsher
The level of physical attraction goes down but the emotional attachment goes up with each sex session. Now if the guy has no intention emotionally to be with you it’s only a matter of time before it’s not worth it or interesting enough to have sex.
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RoseIsabella
Well, then it would seem that guys like that ought to be weeded out, because they are just a waste of OP's time and they degrade her self-respect, and self-esteem. She should wait longer before putting out.
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Clarissa
But that was my whole point in the first place. I wasn't (specifically) talking about sex. Just spending time in any way, either sexual or not. If sex would be my (only) concern I'd be already satisfied how things are going.
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bubsy
What are some traits you imagine appeal to men for a long term relationship? Do you possess these traits?
What sort of men are looking for long term relationships in the first place? Are you sure you're looking for (and attracting) these men?
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Clarissa
You tell me! I'd be grateful to know which traits you are thinking about in the back of your head.
That being said, it'll only be relevant when at least I got a chance to prove that I am relationship material. Which brings me to your second question.I definitely don't attract them, as I always attract guys who view women as disposable articles, but are very good at hiding it. So again, please do tell me what sort of men I should be looking for.
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charli.m
Really don't take that incels advice.
Focus on being happy in yourself. Then you can worry about finding someone else.
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Clarissa
Whether or not I would take his advice isn't really relevant. I can accept or reject any advice I like. So far he hasn't given any substantial advice, despite pretending to have it by asking certain questions aimed at a specific direction. Nothing too surprising, I know the type.
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bubsy
Easy: read your post out loud. Do you hear the snarkiness and the sarcasm? You're an unpleasant person to be around.
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mauzi
The blind leading the blind here.
What was said that sounded snarky to you, or do you just assume everything women say to you has negative feelings behind it?
Honest question: have you considered dating men or shemales since you are more emotionally attracted to masculinity?
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bubsy
You're saying that I'm projecting, and that it's nothing but my own snarkiness and sarcasm I'm hearing from Clarissa's words. That about right?
Not quite sure why you're bringing up homosexuality, but please read Clarissa's post out loud and see if you don't hear something similar. My guess is that you will hear what I heard, and understand why she isn't someone men want to be around for very long.
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mauzi
Anything can be made to sound snarky when you read it aloud, adding the tones you’ve anticipated here. Now, you try reading it in your mind and see if you can avoid hearing it that way.
I bring up homosexuality because you seem unable to see any naturally occurring positivity in women. The only posts I’ve seen you make are telling them how you’d prefer them to act, and responding in a dejected manner when most don’t care for your opinion. Do you actually find them more lovable than men, or are you just trying to feel in control of something?
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Hmmmm let's see. The exclamation point! Back of your head....should I go on?
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McBean
If you cannot have fun with guys in the short run, you are history. Btw, you do not sound like fun at all.
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RoseIsabella
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Clarissa
You missed the point. The short run is all fireworks, no complain at all. It's when it's time for the next move that a lot of guys seem to be running away rather than enter that phase. So far, no one has actually answered my quite simple question. I guess simple can be hard at times..
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RoseIsabella
Get your hands on, and read a book called "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", by Steve Harvey. Don't be dissuaded by the fact that he's a comedian, it's a really great book, and is full of wisdom.
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RoseIsabella
Don't be in a rush to sleep with anyone, and please understand that a lot of men will say anything to get you into bed. Maybe you are desperate for love, affection, and a relationship, but there are also men who are so desperate for sex that they won't hesitate to lie to you to get you to sleep with them. When it's over they will probably not want anything to do with you, because they already got what they wanted. It isn't fair, but that's how a lot of people are.
Take your time to get to know people. Learn to love, and value yourself!
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Clarissa
Thanks for all your honest and supportive comments. You're such a sweetheart xD
It's interesting that the word 'desperate' has passed here more than one time. Who knows, maybe there is a degree of desperation in me; more than I want to admit.
My main motive for posting though was really a sincere desire to understand certain guys a little better (I say certain, bc I hate to generalize; not all guys are the same).
You do sound like someone with lot's of experience with relationships and everything that goes with it, so again, all your comments are really appreciated.Comment Hidden ( show )-
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RoseIsabella
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People answered your simple question, you just didn't like the answer. It seems your personality is causing the issue, not men.
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Clarissa
Pity that you made that conclusion after just a few days. Weren't you the one advising me to lighten up a little and relax..?
Anyway yes eventually I did get some responses which are relevant to my question. Before my last visit here there weren't any. All I heard were comments (presumptions) about my personality, for which I didn't ask.
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What I meant is that your personality seems to attract men who can't commit and who by your own words view women as disposable articles. If your personality doesn't drive that, I don't know what would. You surely must agree that not all men are this way, since marriage, as an institution, is alive and well.
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