Can two dudes not touch each other and enjoy each other without being considered gay? This irks me about American culture. If two girls had what me and my friend enjoy, they wouldn't be considered lesbians.
The thing with girls showing affection towards each other is that it is common. Girls hug each other because it's what "besties." For guys it is different because there is a common mentality that men don't like to show appreciation of others. It's double-standards, I hate it to. In all honesty, try to ignore what people say on this site. As long as you're having fun, why care what people think?
First off thank you for actually still being actively involved, since this is actually an interesting scenario. I realize there is no sexual act involved and even though I am not fully aware of the context of what is going on, I assume there are no feelings or personal tension between you and your friend. Also you are right to say that what is accepted and what isn't is (too?) highly affected by stereotypes and general viewpoints.
But speaking as a completely straight guy who is comfortable with his sexuality I personally feel that the situation you are in is something that I would be very confused about. Even though general social acceptance or viewpoints should not completely influence what you feel or do they are pretty good guidelines to give you a notion of when you should consider what you are doing and think about the reasoning or feelings behind it.
Especially since you are questioning your behaviour on this website I think that you do get the feeling that this might be something deeper or awkward that you are doing!
Hey man, I completely get what you are saying. I think American culture is too 'homophobic' not in the traditional since its used but the fact its questionable if guys touch each other or show affection for one another. Other countries don't have these kind of hangups and have much healthier male friendships. I post this because I have a passion for fighting this type of 'homophobia' with American guys.
Now about my situation, the type of contact I have with my friend is actually quite common in my age group, but its usually always done for a laugh or in front of girls and there is almost always alcohol involved. That's actually how it started with me and Josh. The shirtless part is we are almost always usually shirtless anyways because that's how we roll and always have since our dorm days when we were roommates freshman year. Me and him became extremely close friends and have pretty much done everything together for the past three years. He is like the brother I never had.
Last summer we really started 'playing gay' at parties and the like which involved stuff like sitting on a couch with arms around each other, linking arms while skipping, etc. It just became kind of habitual after that and after some conversations about male social norms, homophobia, our friendship, etc we decided we were comfortable being physically close to one another. Quite frankly though, the thought of kissing him (or any man) or having any sexual contact grosses me out.
Is it normal that me and my best friend do this?
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I have a hard time believing that both of you are completely straight...
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richdude89
11 years ago
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Can two dudes not touch each other and enjoy each other without being considered gay? This irks me about American culture. If two girls had what me and my friend enjoy, they wouldn't be considered lesbians.
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Anime7
11 years ago
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The thing with girls showing affection towards each other is that it is common. Girls hug each other because it's what "besties." For guys it is different because there is a common mentality that men don't like to show appreciation of others. It's double-standards, I hate it to. In all honesty, try to ignore what people say on this site. As long as you're having fun, why care what people think?
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plum6
11 years ago
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First off thank you for actually still being actively involved, since this is actually an interesting scenario. I realize there is no sexual act involved and even though I am not fully aware of the context of what is going on, I assume there are no feelings or personal tension between you and your friend. Also you are right to say that what is accepted and what isn't is (too?) highly affected by stereotypes and general viewpoints.
But speaking as a completely straight guy who is comfortable with his sexuality I personally feel that the situation you are in is something that I would be very confused about. Even though general social acceptance or viewpoints should not completely influence what you feel or do they are pretty good guidelines to give you a notion of when you should consider what you are doing and think about the reasoning or feelings behind it.
Especially since you are questioning your behaviour on this website I think that you do get the feeling that this might be something deeper or awkward that you are doing!
--
richdude89
11 years ago
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Hey man, I completely get what you are saying. I think American culture is too 'homophobic' not in the traditional since its used but the fact its questionable if guys touch each other or show affection for one another. Other countries don't have these kind of hangups and have much healthier male friendships. I post this because I have a passion for fighting this type of 'homophobia' with American guys.
Now about my situation, the type of contact I have with my friend is actually quite common in my age group, but its usually always done for a laugh or in front of girls and there is almost always alcohol involved. That's actually how it started with me and Josh. The shirtless part is we are almost always usually shirtless anyways because that's how we roll and always have since our dorm days when we were roommates freshman year. Me and him became extremely close friends and have pretty much done everything together for the past three years. He is like the brother I never had.
Last summer we really started 'playing gay' at parties and the like which involved stuff like sitting on a couch with arms around each other, linking arms while skipping, etc. It just became kind of habitual after that and after some conversations about male social norms, homophobia, our friendship, etc we decided we were comfortable being physically close to one another. Quite frankly though, the thought of kissing him (or any man) or having any sexual contact grosses me out.