Yeah, well, everyone has a different life. Why can't they want their wedding to be perfect? You only live once, and hopefully only get married once. Some people can afford to be picky and some can't. I am sure you have had times where you could be a "princess" and times like now, where you can't. I'm sure it hurts, but why be bitter, why judge? What does it do? If they found out you'd only make them hurt as much as you do. Do you really want that? I hope not. I mean, so long as they aren't clearing a forest for their wedding, making snails endangered because they just have to have them, telling Haitians they have to leave because seeing them makes their honeymoon ugly, etc. I think it's okay. It's their big day. It's supposed to be once in a lifetime. If it's not for you to make a big deal of it then that's okay too. I hope your man gets better. I know some cancer survivors myself. There is always adoption. There are plenty of orphaned children that need parents. Maybe you could both come together and make each other feel better? (You and a child that needs parents?)
My problem is not big flashy weddings, it's the apparently fashionable mentality that weddings are of the utmost importance and people are secondary. I suppose it is some sort of odd jealousy of a naive bride's narcissism. Of course I do not want to make anyone miserable, but I suppose when I read that stuff I just think to myself, "Why can't people see that love and health make life perfect and not things?" Especially something as fleeting as a wedding. Sure, the memories will last a lifetime but I think in all that chaos and money people forget how lucky they are that their worries are things as insignificant as cake fillings and the chicken dance.
Regarding adoption, you have made excellent points; however, it is hard to be told that you may not have the opportunity to have your own children who carry your bloodline and share your characteristics. Therefore, it is quite difficult to fully embrace the action of adoption when the choice of how to complete your family may have been made for you by a disease that nobody deserves to have. Maybe one day it will be easier to come around, but now it is too early. I love to make others lives happier, but it's so hard to not be scared, confused, and angry about it this early on.
Thank you for your kindness. I honestly feel less bitter as I read your responses and think about your suggestions.
Well, saying this might make you like me a little bit less...
Even if you could have children, it would not be fair to have a child that would have to endure their father being sick, needing so much care when your family and friends should be focused on caring for the child, being somewhat unavailable because their father does not have the energy, etc. and it would not be fair to have a child that would have to endure the death of their father.
Your husband may be depressed because he can't care more for and be for available to the child, too.
If you were to adopt, I think the child may be more resilient towards strife, and may have already endured it, and may be really appreciative to have any kind of parents.
Even then, you and him probably have great things to offer your own child. I'm just trying to bring up some important points.
I think at least some of these people have depth, but you do not see it. How well do you know them? I suppose if they had a charity fundraiser at their wedding they would be closer to your ideals?
Some of them probably do really suck and are shallow most of the time.
But yes, it's best not to judge.
I had heard of some cancer "cures" on curezone.com I sent them to another user on here, but he just ignored me. Maybe they would be of some use to you? They are alternative medicine.
Is it normal that it the "wedding" obsession thing pisses me off?
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Yeah, well, everyone has a different life. Why can't they want their wedding to be perfect? You only live once, and hopefully only get married once. Some people can afford to be picky and some can't. I am sure you have had times where you could be a "princess" and times like now, where you can't. I'm sure it hurts, but why be bitter, why judge? What does it do? If they found out you'd only make them hurt as much as you do. Do you really want that? I hope not. I mean, so long as they aren't clearing a forest for their wedding, making snails endangered because they just have to have them, telling Haitians they have to leave because seeing them makes their honeymoon ugly, etc. I think it's okay. It's their big day. It's supposed to be once in a lifetime. If it's not for you to make a big deal of it then that's okay too. I hope your man gets better. I know some cancer survivors myself. There is always adoption. There are plenty of orphaned children that need parents. Maybe you could both come together and make each other feel better? (You and a child that needs parents?)
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My problem is not big flashy weddings, it's the apparently fashionable mentality that weddings are of the utmost importance and people are secondary. I suppose it is some sort of odd jealousy of a naive bride's narcissism. Of course I do not want to make anyone miserable, but I suppose when I read that stuff I just think to myself, "Why can't people see that love and health make life perfect and not things?" Especially something as fleeting as a wedding. Sure, the memories will last a lifetime but I think in all that chaos and money people forget how lucky they are that their worries are things as insignificant as cake fillings and the chicken dance.
Regarding adoption, you have made excellent points; however, it is hard to be told that you may not have the opportunity to have your own children who carry your bloodline and share your characteristics. Therefore, it is quite difficult to fully embrace the action of adoption when the choice of how to complete your family may have been made for you by a disease that nobody deserves to have. Maybe one day it will be easier to come around, but now it is too early. I love to make others lives happier, but it's so hard to not be scared, confused, and angry about it this early on.
Thank you for your kindness. I honestly feel less bitter as I read your responses and think about your suggestions.
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Well, saying this might make you like me a little bit less...
Even if you could have children, it would not be fair to have a child that would have to endure their father being sick, needing so much care when your family and friends should be focused on caring for the child, being somewhat unavailable because their father does not have the energy, etc. and it would not be fair to have a child that would have to endure the death of their father.
Your husband may be depressed because he can't care more for and be for available to the child, too.
If you were to adopt, I think the child may be more resilient towards strife, and may have already endured it, and may be really appreciative to have any kind of parents.
Even then, you and him probably have great things to offer your own child. I'm just trying to bring up some important points.
I think at least some of these people have depth, but you do not see it. How well do you know them? I suppose if they had a charity fundraiser at their wedding they would be closer to your ideals?
Some of them probably do really suck and are shallow most of the time.
But yes, it's best not to judge.
I had heard of some cancer "cures" on curezone.com I sent them to another user on here, but he just ignored me. Maybe they would be of some use to you? They are alternative medicine.