Is it normal that in sex chemistry is temporary, love is forever?

76% Normal
8 Comments

Here's a post out to all those married men and women or those in long term relationships. Think back to every relationship you've ever had.

Chemistry has always been important to me when finding a partner but in experience, over the years of making a family and building a life with someone, sex seems to change and chemistry is no longer the most important thing, instead it's the feeling of love and devotion you have toward one another.

If this is so, when shopping for a partner, if you've got all the other elements of a good relationship, does this mean that the inital chemistry with a partner really isn't that important?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 75 votes (57 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • georgienne
    12 years ago

    I think chemistry is what we depend on to spark the relationship, not keep it going.
    It grabs our attention enough for us to learn the other person and then let's us take up the lead.

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    • lsuccv
      12 years ago

      georgienne, love this comment, it is so true.

      Surely that raw 'I've got to have you now feeling' doesn't last forever? As soon as you hit that long term relationship stage where he's comforatble enough to scratch his butt and sniff it, it's more love keeping you together than chemistry. My sister was even told by her boyfriend 'please don't walk around naked anymore because I won't get turned on in the bedroom'. So the mere seeing your partner naked more often means that chemistry is lost for some people. I'm just yet to meet anyone who has been married or in a long term relationship and still feels that 'I need to have you now' feeling. Is there anyone out there?
      I'm not saying chemisrty doesn't matter, I'm just questioning whether it should be such a decisive factor in relationships.

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  • Synterra
    12 years ago

    Remember years ago that most marriages started out as arranged or out of convenience and a lot of those marriages certainly lasted a lot longer than our current societies norm and the people actually loved each other because they needed each other and depended on one another to survive/prosper and when someone stands by you and keeps you going through rough times you can trust them and depend on that and just love them because of who they are not what they say or hwo they look. Love is much more important than the chemistry because eventually we all get old and even die, but people who love each other love each other forever and even miss their S.O.'s when they are gone. Lust/chemistry only lasts when you can get laid and when you break up or move on you only miss the pleasures. Think about it when you are 60 and 70 who else will make love to you and hold you close other than someone who loves you.

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  • norm
    12 years ago

    Yes, its perfectly normal.

    Chemistry or infatuation is selfish, it's all about me. I'm turned on, I feel attracted to you, I'm excited. I, I, I.

    Love on the other hand is something you do, not a feeling. It's all about your partner.

    Most all successful/rewarding relationships start out as infatuation (about me) and develop over time into love (about you).

    There should be a progression from one to the other. It takes time to get to know each other, to accept each other, and eventually to love each other (put the other first). It isn't always easy, and it takes effort.

    Most relationships that fail do not make this progression. One or both remain in the "me mode".

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  • LF4sDLX
    12 years ago

    When sex isn't the issue it's 10% of what you think about When sex becomes a problem its 90% of what you think about. Love us great but a healthy active sex life I feel is just as important with a life partner

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  • howaminotmyself
    12 years ago

    Of course the initial spark is important. Otherwise how do you get from point A to point B? I find it sad when couples lose their spark. Love and devotion certainly help you through the rough patches but there is no reason to assume the chemistry is gone and that it never mattered. Maybe they just need a pick me up.

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  • dappled
    12 years ago

    It's an interesting point. But I think there are people with whom you'll always want to do the wild thing. If they're people who feel the same about you, you've got it made.

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  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago

    agreed

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