Its normal that you still have feelings for him but it depends on how long you'd been carrying the emotional baggage. Ask yourself: would a scandalous action like humiliating him in front of all people sort out your problem? Probably you are blaming him for what you feel right now. Doing that won't do you good, so that's not normal.
is it normal that im trying to ruin my exes life?
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Its normal that you still have feelings for him but it depends on how long you'd been carrying the emotional baggage. Ask yourself: would a scandalous action like humiliating him in front of all people sort out your problem? Probably you are blaming him for what you feel right now. Doing that won't do you good, so that's not normal.