Even if 90% of people feel that way doesn't mean it's right! She should do something about it. That is SO not life. Life is what you make of it. She can either remain in her little life, cooking, hanging out at home, and eventually turn her husband off due to her insecurities, or she can do something about it. She is 23 years old; I'd say, since you are not planning on having kids anytime soon, follow your dreams. Afterall, it's not so hard to get back to college, find a job, travel around and have some fun! Goddamnit the girl will wake up one day and realize, not only is she disappointed at her life, but she's depressed! Like, serious depression.
Come on, get up and do something about it. Life is way too short!
Xxx
I really do appreciate this. you're right about the depression. We have only been married four years and I often feel depressed and even suicidal. I have to change something soon.... yes life is short. Time seems to fly when you're having fun.. For me time has been like an enemy. Never enough time to Enjoy and Never ending time to suffer in utter bordum with an empty life. I feel like i have to Choose. Either I am gonna be happy or im going to be miserable making sure my husband's happy. Why? ? My pastor says that this is the reason marriage involves a legally binding contract & that God wants me to keep my vow weather im happy or not and sacrifice & have faith that things will work out for me because I kept my vow of marriage. This is making me miserable. im sooo lost and confused and I just want to start over from when I graduated high school and go to College and be Normal or just Die. .
I am sorry but your pastor MUST shut the fuck up and die. Keep your vow whether you're happy or not? Sacrifice your true self? Really?
Listen, I know nothing about you; perhaps he knows you better. But from what you've posted, you are an unhappy, suicidal person who's getting depressed gradually. If your husband treats you right and your relationship is healthy apart from the things you mentioned earlier, then yes, you should sit down and talk it over with him, explaining what you need, what you want, and what you should do. Hopefully he would understand and help you become a better person.
On the other hand, if your answer to my first question is no, then your pastor better find something better to do than meddle with people's lives. Probably get one of his own for starters.
Anyways, screw your pastor now. We do not live in the Dark Ages anymore. That's why there's something called "divorce", which has been there for the past century.
Marriage is sacred when BOTH man and woman are understand, selfless, loving, listen to one another, discuss issues, solve them! And I am sorry to say that but apparently your husband sucks at that.
Think for yourself. Do not let anyone influence you. Especially that damn medievil priest who knows nothing about life. I do not think that God wants you to suffer the way you are suffering right now.
I actually became very hurt worse and confused about God since then. . . My pastor told me selfishness and self pride is from the devil and God wants me to keep my vow for "better or worse" unless my husband cheats on me. Since then I have a hard time even believing in a loving God who cares about human beings at all. I wad raised as a christian and I believe in the Bible but now I'm so confused because God is so strict and uncompromising if He wants two people to stay together no matter What and in all in all God himself doesnt want people who dont accept Him to be with Him in heaven. if im in God's image why should I have to stay with a husband who doesnt know or accept who I am? The Bible seems to say Jesus forgives all sin but blasphomy. Why then do pastors/ christians judge divorcees so harshly?
Oh my God!
I do not want to sound disrespectful because I am an antichrist, but seriously that pastor is fucked up.
You do not have to be brainwashed by what you're taught or how you've been raised. There are no rights and wrongs. Just listen to your inner self. You're a believer and that is great; you're obviously a spiritual person, meaning you have faith and hope. Use that positively.
Listen I do not know you, I have no bad intentions and I won't be gaining anything if I hurt you. I'm just trying to help, hoping Karma would pay it back. Believe in your own God and be rational; do you believe that God would want you to suffer? I guess not. Do you believe that you're being selfish? No sweety, you're not! On the contrary, you seem like a selfless and good woman. You've sacrificed enough for your husband who doesn't seem like he appreciates what you do, let alone if he appreciates you in the first place. I do not think God wants you to stay idle and do nothing productive. God doesn't really want you to survive. God would want you to live. And you, my friend, are not living. You're barely surviving. God would want you to be productive so that you would progress, and for instance, once you get ur degree and become a teacher, you'd be helping hundreds and thousands of children to grow up too. Think about it that way.
That pastor seems like he's hurting you, not helping you. God would not want people to suffer. He gave you reason and wisdom. Staying home, being your husband's slave, is STUPID. You are not an idiot.
Besides, I don't know where you live, but not all Christians judge divorce so harshly. I live in the fucking middle east! I'm an arab, living in Beirut, Lebanon where people are so fucking retarded and ignorant. And yet, shitloads of people get divorced. Who gives these couples divorce? Since we have no Civil Marriage here, people get married either in church or with muslim sheik. Both are very religious and anal parties. However, they do give divorce for tons of reasons.
Please be rational and love yourself before you love anyone else.
Oh and btw, since you're a Christian believer, that means you believe we come to this earth only once. Make it worth it. Live it fully. Don't let yourself drown in an ocean of depression and remorse. Saying "what if" is horrible. Life is way too short. Live it fully. You deserve it.
Sorry if I'm writing too much; I tend to get carried away when I'm interested in a conversation.
All the best sweety and whenever you feel like talking, send me a message or comment here.
Btw, I'm a 30 year old woman. Got married when I was 20, got divorced a few years later and now I'm engaged and soon-to-be married and never been happier. Just so you know.
Xxx
No you honestly haven't done anything but Help me. My Goodness I am soooo sooo soooo greatful for all these helpful comments!!!!! I have been sooooo hurt in my life being bullied and picked on just like my mother who grew up with no one to love her and I know it aches her to the bone to see me so depressed and she beggs me to come back home but I'm Happy alone. I am depressed about my situation but I am Seriously a fun loving passionate happpy chick. I just dont have the ability to be happy around my mom who is ok a misurable marriage as week and won't leave it and wont stand up for herself (which is probably why I put up with so much crap. I saw my parents as normal and it Isnt normal at All. Im very close to my mom and watching her suffer in marriage 25yrs long. . Guess I wad never taught to stand up for myself) so I stick around because where can I go now that my husband had made me completly financially dependant on him and put me in debt up to my ears? Im so stuck... But honestly, being bullied and beat up in 11th grade Really changed my life and made me afraid to stand up for myself as well. I REALLY WANT TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN & SCREAM FOR GOD TO JUST DO SOMETHING FOR ME TO MAKE THINGS BETTER! but honestly knowing that you and these other god people care to help and listen to me and you don't even know who I am really really really has changed my perspective on the world. Its got bad buf obviously there is still so many good things about life. I need to see the Good side of life for ONCE. I seriously wish I could repay you all for this amazing advice. . . . . Just Please know I thank you Thank you so much 4 giving me hope
Is it normal that im so dissapointed with my life?
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Even if 90% of people feel that way doesn't mean it's right! She should do something about it. That is SO not life. Life is what you make of it. She can either remain in her little life, cooking, hanging out at home, and eventually turn her husband off due to her insecurities, or she can do something about it. She is 23 years old; I'd say, since you are not planning on having kids anytime soon, follow your dreams. Afterall, it's not so hard to get back to college, find a job, travel around and have some fun! Goddamnit the girl will wake up one day and realize, not only is she disappointed at her life, but she's depressed! Like, serious depression.
Come on, get up and do something about it. Life is way too short!
Xxx
--
Grl4luvv
10 years ago
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I really do appreciate this. you're right about the depression. We have only been married four years and I often feel depressed and even suicidal. I have to change something soon.... yes life is short. Time seems to fly when you're having fun.. For me time has been like an enemy. Never enough time to Enjoy and Never ending time to suffer in utter bordum with an empty life. I feel like i have to Choose. Either I am gonna be happy or im going to be miserable making sure my husband's happy. Why? ? My pastor says that this is the reason marriage involves a legally binding contract & that God wants me to keep my vow weather im happy or not and sacrifice & have faith that things will work out for me because I kept my vow of marriage. This is making me miserable. im sooo lost and confused and I just want to start over from when I graduated high school and go to College and be Normal or just Die. .
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bittersweetcupcake
10 years ago
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I am sorry but your pastor MUST shut the fuck up and die. Keep your vow whether you're happy or not? Sacrifice your true self? Really?
Listen, I know nothing about you; perhaps he knows you better. But from what you've posted, you are an unhappy, suicidal person who's getting depressed gradually. If your husband treats you right and your relationship is healthy apart from the things you mentioned earlier, then yes, you should sit down and talk it over with him, explaining what you need, what you want, and what you should do. Hopefully he would understand and help you become a better person.
On the other hand, if your answer to my first question is no, then your pastor better find something better to do than meddle with people's lives. Probably get one of his own for starters.
Anyways, screw your pastor now. We do not live in the Dark Ages anymore. That's why there's something called "divorce", which has been there for the past century.
Marriage is sacred when BOTH man and woman are understand, selfless, loving, listen to one another, discuss issues, solve them! And I am sorry to say that but apparently your husband sucks at that.
Think for yourself. Do not let anyone influence you. Especially that damn medievil priest who knows nothing about life. I do not think that God wants you to suffer the way you are suffering right now.
--
Grl4luvv
10 years ago
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pl
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I actually became very hurt worse and confused about God since then. . . My pastor told me selfishness and self pride is from the devil and God wants me to keep my vow for "better or worse" unless my husband cheats on me. Since then I have a hard time even believing in a loving God who cares about human beings at all. I wad raised as a christian and I believe in the Bible but now I'm so confused because God is so strict and uncompromising if He wants two people to stay together no matter What and in all in all God himself doesnt want people who dont accept Him to be with Him in heaven. if im in God's image why should I have to stay with a husband who doesnt know or accept who I am? The Bible seems to say Jesus forgives all sin but blasphomy. Why then do pastors/ christians judge divorcees so harshly?
--
bittersweetcupcake
10 years ago
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Oh my God!
I do not want to sound disrespectful because I am an antichrist, but seriously that pastor is fucked up.
You do not have to be brainwashed by what you're taught or how you've been raised. There are no rights and wrongs. Just listen to your inner self. You're a believer and that is great; you're obviously a spiritual person, meaning you have faith and hope. Use that positively.
Listen I do not know you, I have no bad intentions and I won't be gaining anything if I hurt you. I'm just trying to help, hoping Karma would pay it back. Believe in your own God and be rational; do you believe that God would want you to suffer? I guess not. Do you believe that you're being selfish? No sweety, you're not! On the contrary, you seem like a selfless and good woman. You've sacrificed enough for your husband who doesn't seem like he appreciates what you do, let alone if he appreciates you in the first place. I do not think God wants you to stay idle and do nothing productive. God doesn't really want you to survive. God would want you to live. And you, my friend, are not living. You're barely surviving. God would want you to be productive so that you would progress, and for instance, once you get ur degree and become a teacher, you'd be helping hundreds and thousands of children to grow up too. Think about it that way.
That pastor seems like he's hurting you, not helping you. God would not want people to suffer. He gave you reason and wisdom. Staying home, being your husband's slave, is STUPID. You are not an idiot.
Besides, I don't know where you live, but not all Christians judge divorce so harshly. I live in the fucking middle east! I'm an arab, living in Beirut, Lebanon where people are so fucking retarded and ignorant. And yet, shitloads of people get divorced. Who gives these couples divorce? Since we have no Civil Marriage here, people get married either in church or with muslim sheik. Both are very religious and anal parties. However, they do give divorce for tons of reasons.
Please be rational and love yourself before you love anyone else.
Oh and btw, since you're a Christian believer, that means you believe we come to this earth only once. Make it worth it. Live it fully. Don't let yourself drown in an ocean of depression and remorse. Saying "what if" is horrible. Life is way too short. Live it fully. You deserve it.
Sorry if I'm writing too much; I tend to get carried away when I'm interested in a conversation.
All the best sweety and whenever you feel like talking, send me a message or comment here.
Btw, I'm a 30 year old woman. Got married when I was 20, got divorced a few years later and now I'm engaged and soon-to-be married and never been happier. Just so you know.
Xxx
--
Grl4luvv
10 years ago
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No you honestly haven't done anything but Help me. My Goodness I am soooo sooo soooo greatful for all these helpful comments!!!!! I have been sooooo hurt in my life being bullied and picked on just like my mother who grew up with no one to love her and I know it aches her to the bone to see me so depressed and she beggs me to come back home but I'm Happy alone. I am depressed about my situation but I am Seriously a fun loving passionate happpy chick. I just dont have the ability to be happy around my mom who is ok a misurable marriage as week and won't leave it and wont stand up for herself (which is probably why I put up with so much crap. I saw my parents as normal and it Isnt normal at All. Im very close to my mom and watching her suffer in marriage 25yrs long. . Guess I wad never taught to stand up for myself) so I stick around because where can I go now that my husband had made me completly financially dependant on him and put me in debt up to my ears? Im so stuck... But honestly, being bullied and beat up in 11th grade Really changed my life and made me afraid to stand up for myself as well. I REALLY WANT TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN & SCREAM FOR GOD TO JUST DO SOMETHING FOR ME TO MAKE THINGS BETTER! but honestly knowing that you and these other god people care to help and listen to me and you don't even know who I am really really really has changed my perspective on the world. Its got bad buf obviously there is still so many good things about life. I need to see the Good side of life for ONCE. I seriously wish I could repay you all for this amazing advice. . . . . Just Please know I thank you Thank you so much 4 giving me hope