It's hard for you to trust people? You cheated on him the first time. Wouldn't it be harder for him to trust you?
I think it's kind of strange that throughout this whole story you're going on about how hurt you feel/felt, and how you're worried he might hurt you again. Yet, you're the one who cheated. Anything that he did after that to break your heart was probably done from the hurt and bitterness he felt about you and what you did.
I'm trying to say this not to sound like a bitch, but this is just my opinion.
If it didn't work out the first time, it probably won't work out the next time around. And if their ever comes a second time, it's because you both are trying desperately to give it another go. "Grasping at straws." If the second time fails, you can just stop. If it's meant to be it's meant to be. You guys already went through the second time. Maybe its time to leave it behind. Plus, it sounds like you don't even really know what you're really feeling about him anyway. Do you love him or hate him? I don't know. But you know.
is it normal that im not sure if i hate my bf or love him?
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It's hard for you to trust people? You cheated on him the first time. Wouldn't it be harder for him to trust you?
I think it's kind of strange that throughout this whole story you're going on about how hurt you feel/felt, and how you're worried he might hurt you again. Yet, you're the one who cheated. Anything that he did after that to break your heart was probably done from the hurt and bitterness he felt about you and what you did.
I'm trying to say this not to sound like a bitch, but this is just my opinion.
If it didn't work out the first time, it probably won't work out the next time around. And if their ever comes a second time, it's because you both are trying desperately to give it another go. "Grasping at straws." If the second time fails, you can just stop. If it's meant to be it's meant to be. You guys already went through the second time. Maybe its time to leave it behind. Plus, it sounds like you don't even really know what you're really feeling about him anyway. Do you love him or hate him? I don't know. But you know.