and (i have been skipping lunch/meals.... it's not good. I know... i have been since may... before this even happened with her but it worsened after it did.) when I was walking in the hallway during lunch, I saw her... and I was crying and so I hurried up and stopped my tears and I looked at her and gave her a smile. She could tell I was crying and she just kept staring at me and I looked away... I could feel her staring at me, though... And then in class that day, she was all sad. I was planning on being mean to her, but seeing her sad like that broke my heart... so, I began to joke around and stuff and eventually I got her to laugh....
It's just hard to tell if she ever did care about me... I mean, I know right there seemed like she did... but she's very sensitive and she's hard on herself. She could have just been upset because she was mad at herself for hurting me. Not necessarily because she cared. Ya know?
I like to try and tell myself she did and still does by thinking about the things she does. Like, we literally fought like siblings. If she was fighting with other students like she fought with me, they'd be written up. We weren't afraid to express when we were angry at one another and sometimes in Spanish class, I'll say really passive aggressive comments to her (in spanish) and she'll reply with another passive aggressive comment to make me feel better about it. She knows I don't eat and so she makes comments about it all of the time. Like, "Ana never eats." Or "food is very, very important for survival." And she'd just stare at me. One time she even saw me skipping and she said really mean-like, "EAT." And stared at me meanly... but then I asked her, "Do You care about me?" And she was like, "Yes. Of course." And I looked at her and she was like, "Well, let me say this- i care about you like a teacher would a student." And that literally KILLED ME.... we have a very close relationship. I know a lot about her life and things I probably shouldn't know about her.... it's just.... ugh... there's a lot more but I've already written a lot... I just needed to talk about it and you guys seem like you would understand my pain.... do you? What do you guys think about how she feels about me? Do you think she cares?? I've been struggling with this and I feel hollow... I'm sorry this is long and I don't expect anyone to reply or read it all.... I've just been suffering. Thank you for reading if you did.
is it normal that i wish my teacher loved me like a daughter
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and (i have been skipping lunch/meals.... it's not good. I know... i have been since may... before this even happened with her but it worsened after it did.) when I was walking in the hallway during lunch, I saw her... and I was crying and so I hurried up and stopped my tears and I looked at her and gave her a smile. She could tell I was crying and she just kept staring at me and I looked away... I could feel her staring at me, though... And then in class that day, she was all sad. I was planning on being mean to her, but seeing her sad like that broke my heart... so, I began to joke around and stuff and eventually I got her to laugh....
It's just hard to tell if she ever did care about me... I mean, I know right there seemed like she did... but she's very sensitive and she's hard on herself. She could have just been upset because she was mad at herself for hurting me. Not necessarily because she cared. Ya know?
I like to try and tell myself she did and still does by thinking about the things she does. Like, we literally fought like siblings. If she was fighting with other students like she fought with me, they'd be written up. We weren't afraid to express when we were angry at one another and sometimes in Spanish class, I'll say really passive aggressive comments to her (in spanish) and she'll reply with another passive aggressive comment to make me feel better about it. She knows I don't eat and so she makes comments about it all of the time. Like, "Ana never eats." Or "food is very, very important for survival." And she'd just stare at me. One time she even saw me skipping and she said really mean-like, "EAT." And stared at me meanly... but then I asked her, "Do You care about me?" And she was like, "Yes. Of course." And I looked at her and she was like, "Well, let me say this- i care about you like a teacher would a student." And that literally KILLED ME.... we have a very close relationship. I know a lot about her life and things I probably shouldn't know about her.... it's just.... ugh... there's a lot more but I've already written a lot... I just needed to talk about it and you guys seem like you would understand my pain.... do you? What do you guys think about how she feels about me? Do you think she cares?? I've been struggling with this and I feel hollow... I'm sorry this is long and I don't expect anyone to reply or read it all.... I've just been suffering. Thank you for reading if you did.