IIN that I wish I had been sexually abused as a child?

I feel like you've hit the nail on the head the hardest in this post. The second paragraph sums up my feelings fairly well (not exactly to a T, but close)
And that's interesting you should mention idealizing being forced to do other things, even if non-sexual. I also fall into this catagory but never really made the connection between the two concepts until now!! Which really gives me something to think about, thank you!