Actually I wasn't talking about forgiveness because no matter how many times it's explained to me from different perspectives - including the once widely held but now discredited notion that one has to forgive before one can heal - I just don't get it.
Nothing I can do can wipe the slate clean, which is what I was taught as a child was forgiveness in the christian belief system: if it means not being ruled by resentment against the person but still protecting myself from him/them if necessary and rebuilding my life after trauma, then yes, I'm all for that and am still in that process now, but forgiveness? No, nothing anyone can do can wipe out an action in the past, so why try?
I totally agree with you about healing being a journey, not a destination, but I still wish I were on a less exhausting and painful journey and I will not forgive the person who caused me to have to deal with all this while he goes on doing what he did to me, to other women and nothing is done to stop him.
I'm not talking about "getting over" past trauma either, because I don't think that's possible in a lot of cases, I'm talking about rebuilding my life in a way that moves me away from the trauma and learning not to let the past affect the future any more than I can help.
Leave out the prayers, heaven, hell and purgatory and I reckon you and I agree totally with each other, don't you?
Right on. I try to do my best, but for a lot of people, especially those in my family of origin, my best is not enough. It's so frustrating. I have to work a lot on detachment when it comes to family.
IIN That i want to kill women who cheat on their boyfriend/husband?
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
Actually I wasn't talking about forgiveness because no matter how many times it's explained to me from different perspectives - including the once widely held but now discredited notion that one has to forgive before one can heal - I just don't get it.
Nothing I can do can wipe the slate clean, which is what I was taught as a child was forgiveness in the christian belief system: if it means not being ruled by resentment against the person but still protecting myself from him/them if necessary and rebuilding my life after trauma, then yes, I'm all for that and am still in that process now, but forgiveness? No, nothing anyone can do can wipe out an action in the past, so why try?
I totally agree with you about healing being a journey, not a destination, but I still wish I were on a less exhausting and painful journey and I will not forgive the person who caused me to have to deal with all this while he goes on doing what he did to me, to other women and nothing is done to stop him.
I'm not talking about "getting over" past trauma either, because I don't think that's possible in a lot of cases, I'm talking about rebuilding my life in a way that moves me away from the trauma and learning not to let the past affect the future any more than I can help.
Leave out the prayers, heaven, hell and purgatory and I reckon you and I agree totally with each other, don't you?
--
RoseIsabella
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
Right on. I try to do my best, but for a lot of people, especially those in my family of origin, my best is not enough. It's so frustrating. I have to work a lot on detachment when it comes to family.
--
Ellenna
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Oh don't we all? All the best to you wherever your journey takes you
--
RoseIsabella
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Thanks, you too.