I don't know many people who haven't been cheated on at one time or another but at some point you have to move on and let go of all this bullshit hatred & wishing for revenge: who is that harming? Not them, you!
I understand, respect and appreciate your perspective on forgiveness and letting go of resentments. Believe it or not my above comment is a marked improvement from the past. I might logically make a decision to forgive someone, but often times my emotions tell me otherwise. The lack of the old nauseating adrenaline rush I used to get is progress for someone as sick as me. I'm sure that in time and with continued prayer, meditation, work with a qualified therapist, etcetera, such personal issues will improve for me. I wish it were a more simple endeavor for me, but it isn't. Recovery, whether it's from mental illness, a near debilitating personality disorder or even an addiction is a journey and not a destination.
You're free to believe whatever you wish regarding Heaven, Hell and Purgatory, but as for myself I still believe. I'll probably just be disappointed. Meh.
Actually I wasn't talking about forgiveness because no matter how many times it's explained to me from different perspectives - including the once widely held but now discredited notion that one has to forgive before one can heal - I just don't get it.
Nothing I can do can wipe the slate clean, which is what I was taught as a child was forgiveness in the christian belief system: if it means not being ruled by resentment against the person but still protecting myself from him/them if necessary and rebuilding my life after trauma, then yes, I'm all for that and am still in that process now, but forgiveness? No, nothing anyone can do can wipe out an action in the past, so why try?
I totally agree with you about healing being a journey, not a destination, but I still wish I were on a less exhausting and painful journey and I will not forgive the person who caused me to have to deal with all this while he goes on doing what he did to me, to other women and nothing is done to stop him.
I'm not talking about "getting over" past trauma either, because I don't think that's possible in a lot of cases, I'm talking about rebuilding my life in a way that moves me away from the trauma and learning not to let the past affect the future any more than I can help.
Leave out the prayers, heaven, hell and purgatory and I reckon you and I agree totally with each other, don't you?
Right on. I try to do my best, but for a lot of people, especially those in my family of origin, my best is not enough. It's so frustrating. I have to work a lot on detachment when it comes to family.
IIN That i want to kill women who cheat on their boyfriend/husband?
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
I don't know many people who haven't been cheated on at one time or another but at some point you have to move on and let go of all this bullshit hatred & wishing for revenge: who is that harming? Not them, you!
There is no such thing as purgatory by the way
--
RoseIsabella
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I understand, respect and appreciate your perspective on forgiveness and letting go of resentments. Believe it or not my above comment is a marked improvement from the past. I might logically make a decision to forgive someone, but often times my emotions tell me otherwise. The lack of the old nauseating adrenaline rush I used to get is progress for someone as sick as me. I'm sure that in time and with continued prayer, meditation, work with a qualified therapist, etcetera, such personal issues will improve for me. I wish it were a more simple endeavor for me, but it isn't. Recovery, whether it's from mental illness, a near debilitating personality disorder or even an addiction is a journey and not a destination.
You're free to believe whatever you wish regarding Heaven, Hell and Purgatory, but as for myself I still believe. I'll probably just be disappointed. Meh.
--
Ellenna
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Actually I wasn't talking about forgiveness because no matter how many times it's explained to me from different perspectives - including the once widely held but now discredited notion that one has to forgive before one can heal - I just don't get it.
Nothing I can do can wipe the slate clean, which is what I was taught as a child was forgiveness in the christian belief system: if it means not being ruled by resentment against the person but still protecting myself from him/them if necessary and rebuilding my life after trauma, then yes, I'm all for that and am still in that process now, but forgiveness? No, nothing anyone can do can wipe out an action in the past, so why try?
I totally agree with you about healing being a journey, not a destination, but I still wish I were on a less exhausting and painful journey and I will not forgive the person who caused me to have to deal with all this while he goes on doing what he did to me, to other women and nothing is done to stop him.
I'm not talking about "getting over" past trauma either, because I don't think that's possible in a lot of cases, I'm talking about rebuilding my life in a way that moves me away from the trauma and learning not to let the past affect the future any more than I can help.
Leave out the prayers, heaven, hell and purgatory and I reckon you and I agree totally with each other, don't you?
--
RoseIsabella
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
Right on. I try to do my best, but for a lot of people, especially those in my family of origin, my best is not enough. It's so frustrating. I have to work a lot on detachment when it comes to family.
--
Ellenna
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Oh don't we all? All the best to you wherever your journey takes you
--
RoseIsabella
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Thanks, you too.