Is it normal that i want to kill those i love?

So, I love my family and my friends. I adore them like no other. A couple times a week, if not day, however, I happen to want to kill them. I am not mad at them or anything, I just want to kill them for fun. My biggest wish it to kill the whole world (though not my friends and family yet) all at once, then slowly torture my loved ones. I just have an obsession with killing. It is seen as well since I start talking about death and apparently smiling in a really creepy way. I am a completely normal person normally, but when this happens it is like I turn into someone completely different. I just want to know, is it normal for me to with this death and torture upon those that I love?? I really want to figure out what is wrong with me, if there is something.

Voting Results
20% Normal
Based on 30 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Friedchiken

    I'm an 18 year old girl and I've dealt with this since I was 8, wish I could help dude. You're not alone

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  • No you don't. You're young and bored and spend too much time watching tv, and you think the villains of those shows are "cool", as they're often portrayed as.

    All this is is that you want to be cool. We get people like you here all the time. You're not driven by some sort of bloodlust, you just want to be a cliche tv villain, and it's not impressive.

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    • bm410775

      Thank you for the feedback, as I understand that many for many people think that as well. Just wanted to let you know that I am a huge nerd in a school specifically for nerds, so there is no point trying to be cool. There are no social classes since all we have time to do is study, so I have no social life anyways. And TV is boring since all you do is is stare at a screen. There is nothing to learn! Books are way better, in my opinion. Though sitting outside and listening to sad music is the very best thing to do in free time, in my opinion.

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      • Yeah, that fits in exactly with what I'm saying, just replace tv characters with book characters. Socially inexperienced and primarily get your social interaction views from books.

        We both know this isn't how you naturally feel, and when you do have it in your mind you've forced yourself to believe it's how-you feel, often making up little scenarios of coolness and importance while doing it to feel different and to convince yourself you are different.

        These ways don't get people to think you're impressive or different, intact it'll more likely be the case that you'll be mocked for it.

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        • deepdrowning

          It's called intrusive thoughts, look it up.

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  • deepdrowning

    I have these too. They're called intrusive thoughts. I might have OCD, you might have it too. It's not about organization, it's stuff like this. I know it's hard, I felt like a monster for a while, but you can get help and manage this. Good luck.

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    • bm410775

      It is nice to see people who know what I am talking about. Thank you to all who gave helpful answers. I hate feeling like this since I am trying to be a good person, but its hard...

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      • deepdrowning

        Yeah, don't listen to people who have no idea what they're talking about.. One positive thing is that there has been no recorded instance of people with intrusive thoughts actually acting on them. It's just the obsessive "what if?" If you were a psychopath, you probably wouldn't be worried, and you wouldn't be here. https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/

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  • redrainbow22

    Sounds like you have a demon inside of you

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  • Lovelvforever1998

    You might me a phscopath

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  • LuxM4G

    Your a "natural born killer" son, no pun intended, hahaha Stay off drugs and alcohol and seek a psychiatrist soon enough before you cause harm to yourself and others.

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  • TheRealJohnCena

    You crazy shit

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  • RoseIsabella

    Naw man, that shit is fucked up, and you know, cause otherwise you wouldn't be asking. Would you now?

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  • bumblecreek

    Not normal and quite disturbing actually. You're like a character from a Stephen King story, and it's probably not a good idea to admit wanting to kill people. It can get you in a lot of trouble.

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  • BeautifulDreamer612

    Do you hear someone telling you to hurt them?

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    • bm410775

      No, if anyone truly knew what I wanted to do then that would be disastrous. I hear my mind telling me to stop thinking like that, but I just can't help it. But, to answer your question, it is entirely me.

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      • BeautifulDreamer612

        https://www.psychologytoday.com
        Maybe look up some of your symptoms
        I hope that you feel better soon 💕

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