I know you don't want to get rid of her, but I would still recommend offering her to a friend or family memeber who you know will take good care of her. At this point it seems your situation is a bit of a ticking time bomb. These type of thoughts are not normal, but you should know many people struggle with the same thing and you aren't alone. I would highly encourage you to try seeking help if these thoughts don't go away. Best of luck to the both of you.
Is it normal that I want to kill my hamster?
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I know you don't want to get rid of her, but I would still recommend offering her to a friend or family memeber who you know will take good care of her. At this point it seems your situation is a bit of a ticking time bomb. These type of thoughts are not normal, but you should know many people struggle with the same thing and you aren't alone. I would highly encourage you to try seeking help if these thoughts don't go away. Best of luck to the both of you.