Is it normal that i want to kill? is it normal that i actually can?

I have murderous thoughts. I have had them for years. I was repeatedly raped, molested, and abused as a child, in various ways by various people for many years. It really kind of sucked. But several years ago (about ten), I developed murderous thoughts. I am twenty one. I plan the murders and torture of my abusers and others and I think quite often about them. Their deaths. Some people I could never hurt, but some people I "could". I am sure that is more normal than most would like to admit. But... Is it normal not to care? In theory, could torture my father (he deserved it), cut off his toes, bite off his ear, throw him down a flight of stairs bound to a chair and then snap his neck... And genuinely not feel anything.
Nothing.
Nada.
Not a darn thing.
Though mostly everyone else I literally could never harm.
Is this complete lack of conscience, UTTER disregard for human life, and inability to feel remorse really not normal?
I always thought since childhood that everyone had these thoughts and capabilities.