it's normal, but with online games, it could also be that he is addicted. If you do love him, he may need support on this, even if he will not realize at first.
But i agree, you need to have a talk with him at first! Make it clear that his gaming has gone beyond "hobby" and that it's fine if he's playing, but that does not mean he can neglect everything else, especially you...at least when you're out shopping or for a walk he should focus on you instead of the games.
he is in denial of his gaming addiction and compares to other player that at least he still works and insists that if I ask him to drive he will but the truth is I can feel that even if we are out he plays or uncomfortable and wants to just go home... it's killing me and ruins our relationship.. Sometimes I just want out but have no courage to do so...
well, do tell him that you acknowledge he is working, but that does not help _YOU_ if you miss spending time with him.
If you had no feelings for him whatsoever, you would already be gone, courage or not.
You could try the following: If he really believes he is not addicted, then it should not be a problem to "stop". Make a bet with him, that he cannot go for even a month(or 2 weeks, if thats too high) without ANY gaming. If YOU win, he admits that he is addicted and tries to change. If HE wins, you will stop trying to change him and no longer bugger him about it.
The trick is: In this month/2 weeks, he will need to spend a lot of time with you, a good chance to re-kindle your relationship-fire, and to etablish "ceremonies" together that you could continue afterwards. If all fails, you can still look to leave him afterwards...you never promised to accept it, only to stop trying to change him/bugger him...which is all true if you leave.
If he refuses the bet outright, claim that he _IS_ addicted, and even if he doesn't "need to prove something" to himself, you want him to "prove it to you", because you do feel neglected and that he IS addicted.
Is it normal that I want to give away my husband?
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it's normal, but with online games, it could also be that he is addicted. If you do love him, he may need support on this, even if he will not realize at first.
But i agree, you need to have a talk with him at first! Make it clear that his gaming has gone beyond "hobby" and that it's fine if he's playing, but that does not mean he can neglect everything else, especially you...at least when you're out shopping or for a walk he should focus on you instead of the games.
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Anonymous Post Author
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he is in denial of his gaming addiction and compares to other player that at least he still works and insists that if I ask him to drive he will but the truth is I can feel that even if we are out he plays or uncomfortable and wants to just go home... it's killing me and ruins our relationship.. Sometimes I just want out but have no courage to do so...
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TerryVie
11 years ago
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well, do tell him that you acknowledge he is working, but that does not help _YOU_ if you miss spending time with him.
If you had no feelings for him whatsoever, you would already be gone, courage or not.
You could try the following: If he really believes he is not addicted, then it should not be a problem to "stop". Make a bet with him, that he cannot go for even a month(or 2 weeks, if thats too high) without ANY gaming. If YOU win, he admits that he is addicted and tries to change. If HE wins, you will stop trying to change him and no longer bugger him about it.
The trick is: In this month/2 weeks, he will need to spend a lot of time with you, a good chance to re-kindle your relationship-fire, and to etablish "ceremonies" together that you could continue afterwards. If all fails, you can still look to leave him afterwards...you never promised to accept it, only to stop trying to change him/bugger him...which is all true if you leave.
If he refuses the bet outright, claim that he _IS_ addicted, and even if he doesn't "need to prove something" to himself, you want him to "prove it to you", because you do feel neglected and that he IS addicted.