That's what dissociatives are for. The best known ones are DXM, Ketamine, and PCP. DXM is most easily found in cough syrup, though do your research on Erowid.org first as many of them contain other active ingredients that can be harmful. Ketamine is harder to find as it's a heavily regulated controlled substance. PCP...just stay the hell away from it.
Is it normal that I want to feel depersonalization again?
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That's what dissociatives are for. The best known ones are DXM, Ketamine, and PCP. DXM is most easily found in cough syrup, though do your research on Erowid.org first as many of them contain other active ingredients that can be harmful. Ketamine is harder to find as it's a heavily regulated controlled substance. PCP...just stay the hell away from it.