is it normal that I want to change my sexual preference

I am human sexuality educator, and I think there is some serious confusion and misinformation on this post.

First of all, the term sexual "preference" is misleading. It makes some people believe that by "preferring" something, it is means our attractions are a conscious choice. This is 100% false. The more appropriate term to use would be sexual orientation.

You wrote that you had *desires* to have *relationships* with women. That is completely normal for many people. Regardless of their gender. But from how you wrote, it sounds as if you do not currently know any women you have genuine sexual attractions for. Let me explain a bit about sexuality.

Orientation is typically grouped into three parts: Orientation, Behavior, and Identity. Orientation are your attractions, whether they be for people, fantasies, or objects. Your behavior is what you actual do, whether in the bedroom or in relationships. And your identity is just whatever you're comfortable calling yourself.

You *can* change a behavior, but you can't *control* your attractions. For example; If I'm male and having sex with a woman, most people in society are very quick to say that I am straight because behavior is something our minds can see. But what if I said, while I was having sex with her, I was fantasizing about a man? What identity am I then? There answer is... whatever I feel comfortable calling myself. Reason being, the labels of "gay" and "straight" and everything outside and in between are a lie.

Sexuality is a person-by-person experience. Is it possible that even the most "heterosexual" man can have a sexual attraction another man? Of course it's possible! It just may not be likely that he ever finds such a man. There are 7.6 billion people on this earth, and in our lifetimes we will only me a few thousands. So really, when you think about it, most of our labels for sexual orientation are just a "guideline" so to speak. The reality is, our hyper-sexualized society focuses so much on the act of sex, that we forget about the other non-sexual attractions we feel.

There's major five types of attractions: Sexual, Emotional, Relational, Affectional, and Relational. We feels this attractions every day, but we just don't tend to think of them as "attractions". For example, you can have a best friend that you have strong emotional attractions to. Maybe that's why they *are* you're best friend. You just click so well. This click is an attraction. But we misunderstand "attraction" as something sexual. Having a strong emotional connection with a best friend doesn't imply you have a sexual attraction to them. It's only over time you begin to discover where your sexual attractions tend to lead. Let's say you're female, and maybe you notice over the years, that for most men you feel 4 or all 5 types of attractions towards many of them. Most girls you've met, you tend to only have 1 or 2 of these attractions towards. This is how you make yourself a label and turn it into an identity. But as I said, labels are misleading and restricting to all aspects of sexuality. So just because you feel 1 or 2 attractions towards MOST women, doesn't mean there isn't a girl SOMEWHERE on the planet that you won't have all 5 attractions to. It's just not very likely. So in all, every person you meet will be someone you have different attractions towards- whether they are male or female, identify as a man or woman, and regardless of the label they put on their identity. But you are not able to consciously *choose* these feelings. They are within our unconscious.