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Ok, I want the feeling of being helpless, it is a huge turn on to me. I am 17, turning 18 in June. I am very shy when it comes to intimate things. And I also think that if a guy ever tried to rape me I'd be terrified like any normal girl/guy...I just don't know...
I want to "pretend" that I don't want it, be forced into it, but secretly enjoy being helpless? Since I'm very weak, I would never be able to actually stop it.
It's a common fantasy. Google 'ravishment fetish'. You'll find that you aren't alone. And honestly, I feel EXACTLY the same as you. I'm a virgin and inexperienced, so of course shy to the thought of sex, but eventually, I want to find someone to have consensual sex with, but just pretend to resist and have them 'take me by force'. It might sound odd to others, but in the light of other's fantasies and fetishes, it's quite tame.
the fantasy is rather normal.
also the psychological reasoning. If you are shy, insecure and don't know what and how to do things, it's natural you would enjoy someone "leading" in this, much the same way you let someone "lead" when dancing when you are not very secure.
Also, your shyness would interfere with openly enjoying your sexuality...if its FORCED on you, it's not your fault you are "naughty".
do search through the posts a bit, this is a popular question and many others have a lot of useful responses already.
My girlfriend actually has the very same rape fantasy, that we have played out several times to her benefit! This is only okay if you trust the person you are playing this fantasy out with, and have an understanding of what is okay and what is not!
That being said, it can be quite fun!