I have felt something of that towards my brother, but if I ever wished him dead, I must have been too young to remember it. I was made to censor my own thoughts as a kid, though. I wasn't allowed to be angry.
Essentially, every source of anger you have mentioned - him being the golden child, him being weak and pathetic, you feeling like his arrival ruined your life, your parents only having eyes for him - I have felt all of this and suffered for it.
Is it normal that I want my brother to die?
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I have felt something of that towards my brother, but if I ever wished him dead, I must have been too young to remember it. I was made to censor my own thoughts as a kid, though. I wasn't allowed to be angry.
Essentially, every source of anger you have mentioned - him being the golden child, him being weak and pathetic, you feeling like his arrival ruined your life, your parents only having eyes for him - I have felt all of this and suffered for it.