You need to define the reasons you want a relationship, and the reasons you don't want a relationship. Relationships are never perfect, there are always good and bad aspects of them.
Just weigh up the pros and cons, maybe write it down, you'll then come to a decision. But if you do decide to have a relationship, you must realise and accept that there WILL be good AND bad aspects.
Is it normal that I want a relationship but I don't?
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You need to define the reasons you want a relationship, and the reasons you don't want a relationship. Relationships are never perfect, there are always good and bad aspects of them.
Just weigh up the pros and cons, maybe write it down, you'll then come to a decision. But if you do decide to have a relationship, you must realise and accept that there WILL be good AND bad aspects.