Is it normal that i've never had a boyfriend?

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8 Comments

I'm 20 yrs old and I've never had a boyfriend, never kissed, dated or anything. I'm actually an above average looking girl, and have had guys told me that I'm very pretty. It seems like everytime I start talking to a guy it's meant to go down the drain... For example, recently I made a really good guy friend, we would talk alot, and not about stupid things but about personal and very deep things, I didn't like him but he did things like hold my hand and he always complimented me telling me i was beautiful etc, that made me think he was interested in me. He did tell me once not to fall for him, and honestly i didn't know what he meant by that, all i want to know is if this guy liked me or not, i mean he did things that a normal guy friend wouldn't do, but lately it seems that we're not even friends anymnore, we hardly talk and it's just really different... i don't know what to do, i do like him now, but i'm not sure of what to do... i don't know what his intentions are.. i would really like a guys opinion on that...

Is It Normal?
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  • numpangnyampah
    13 years ago | pl

    he just not that in to you...

    he maybe likes you, but if he said not to fall for him, than he dont have a plan to get serious with you.. probably he do the same thing to his other girl friends.

    so my suggest to you is just enjoy what you had with him, dont waste your energy by wanting him too much...

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  • peterr
    9 years ago | pl

    There once was a girl from Anheuser,
    Who thought no man could surprise her.
    So Pabst took a chance,
    Found the Schlitz in her pants
    And now she is sadder Budweiser!

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  • peterr
    9 years ago | pl

    Forget him and cum to me. I am older but wiser and really know how to treat a lady such as yourself...

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    Ok - you have gotten the expert fem Jen advice. And I love her - so listen to every word!!! Here's mine. Which is horrible. But kind of a guy perspective.

    Take some initiative in your life. That means doing things. Like a guy? Let him know. Ask him out. Yes that is bizarre. But how long do you want to wait? And be unhappy?

    Take the initiative. You can. So just do it. that way you also get to regulate. Who you want. Don't want. What you will do. Etc. Young guys today, well honestly, they aren't very assertive (manly). So just make what you want to happen - happen.

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    • Jen118584
      13 years ago | pl

      Ollie you are the sugar in my tea!

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      • [Old Memory]
        13 years ago | pl

        And you're the apple in my tree .... I think there is a song here.. xo!

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  • Jen118584
    13 years ago | pl

    Well, I'm not a guy, but from an outsider's perspective, I think you're looking way too much into this whole dating thing. You met a guy and you talked about very deep and personal subjects. You revealed a lot about yourself, pretty quickly I take it? Most (MOST) 20-year-old guys aren't looking for a deep and meaningful relationship right off the bat. I'm not saying these guys are shallow or that these relationships don't have the potential to eventually be serious. What I am saying is, perhaps you are putting yourself out there too much. That can be intimidating.

    The next time you flirt or date a guy, take it at face value and don't anticipate failure because that kind of attitude permeates everything. Try not to reveal everything about yourself right away. Leave some mystery. Think about how what you say sounds like to someone who doesn't know you and is looking for a fun, laid back girl to chill with. Deep, personal things should be shared later on, when you're more comfortable with a person, and when he's gotten to know the everyday you.

    Dating is about selling yourself. That sounds bad, I know, but think about it. A first date, or a first encounter is like an interview. If someone comes right out and tells you all this personal information, and really deep stuff, when you're really just wondering whether or not they'd be fun to hang out with....that's just a bad way to start. Immediately people are bored with you. I'm not at all saying you are a depressing person, but your post has a depressing tone to it, and I'm wondering if you convey this in your interactions with guys as well. Just be positive! Anyone who is worth your time is looking for something positive.

    What may have happened with this guy is that you put everything out there right away. You said you had no romantic interest in him at the time. I'm sure he perceived this and he may have gotten bored with trying and moved on. If you really do like him, and aren't just unhappy to have lost his attentions, let him know. Start over, on a positive note, all deep conversation aside, and try to have fun with the guy. He may be a great listener and a great conversationalist but he's still human, and he wants to have fun like everyone else.

    Anyways, I have babbled long enough, but good luck to you :)

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    • asfarasthemoon
      13 years ago | pl

      Well, maybe I didn't exactly word it the way I was supposed to... but first of all thank you both for leaving comments. Well the "relationship" if you can call it that, more like a friendship, started off very slow, but let me tell you that HE was the one showing interest, I mean he was the one asking questions always, setting the topics of our conversations, he always wanted to hang out, he always took the initiative, but what is confusing me is that lately it seems like we're not even friends, and it sucks, it really does. Like I said, at first I had no interest in him, but how could I resist the way he treated me, the things he told me, the way he acted towards me. And now what do I do? Honestly, I'm not the type of girl that puts herself out there, I'm actually a pretty shy person and it takes me a long time to open up to somebody, but with this guy it was different, there was something in him that inspired many things in me, especially when it came to trusting him. The only thing I could think of is that, like you mentioned, he just got bored with me, it's definitely not the same between us anymore.

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