Is it normal that i try to be absolutely perfect?

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5 Comments

Hi everyone,
I am a 19 y/o female from LA, CA. Born and raised here. I have always been a girly girl concerned about popularity (I always attended really big schools) but in high school I began to take it too far. I started trying to copy girls I saw on TV or even knew in person & just looked up to. In every. single. way. From the way the girls looked to the way they talked and the activities they enjoyed. It gets worse over the years. I began doing rituals to "renew myself" and I tell myself I am renewed but once I do something that I don't think the girl I'm pretending to be would do, I feel like I messed up and want to try being like someone else. I also have tried switching "souls" with other women I know of or have favored in TV shows or sometimes even to become the quintessential idea of a stereotype. I have tried selling my soul and doing plenty of other things. I can't control these thoughts as hard as I try to and they are affecting my everyday life. I did have a traumatic experience with doing something stupid in high school and being bullied for it and that has been the biggest thing that has ever affected me in my life. It might have intensified my unusual issue but it certainly did not create it. I remember doing this before then. I know how to hide this from people because I have never told one person in this whole world that I do this. I feel like otherwise I am a very intelligent girl but my problem is getting in the way of my studies and continuing my life. Help.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • CuriousBG
    9 years ago | pl

    *I meant sexual identity is taught, not sexuality

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  • CuriousBG
    9 years ago | pl

    When women pretend to be something they are not, they build fake standards that they themselves can not even live up to. Be what you are, wether that's a girl who likes action figures or other girls lol. You will never feel fulfillment unless you begin to live for you and not social standards. Just because your sex is female does not mean you have to like pink, hearts and glitter. Sexuality is taught not inherited. You become what you see. So if you live in a world of conformist females who are ditzy and man serving, then you are more likely to experience that mentality as right vs if you were raised around women who practiced self expression and didn't regard themselves as only women but rather individuals in this world capable of more than "girly" stereotypes. Focus on your interest, weird or not, and not what you want others to see you as.

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago | pl

    Have you ever seen "Black Swan"? Nina wanted to be perfect and look where it got her! I tried going down that road, and honestly, it is neither worth it nor possible. No one is perfect. Everyone has some type if issue/flaw. That is part of what makes a human. The girls you see on tv aren't real. They are characters who may seem perfect on the surface, but when out of character, their actresses experience problems too.

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  • Hajer92
    9 years ago | pl

    you need to see a therapist

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  • dejavugirl
    9 years ago | pl

    It's okay! If you can control it a little bit, it's good in your life to act the way you want to be

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