Is it normal that i touched my little sister when i was a kid?

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10 Comments

So basically I have two younger sisters. One of them is 1.5 years younger and the other one is 3 years younger. I've always been really close to the one that's close to my age as we're pretty similar (we look similar, we both get good grades, we like the same things) and I've at times felt like the youngest one isn't even my sister because we look nothing alike (she has blonde hair and green eyes and I have black hair and brown eyes and she is nothing like me). Well I'm 18 now and when I was 10/11-13 I totally could not control my hormones. I would play games with my youngest sister that were kind of sexual and I would always touch her butt. She participated in the games and when we weren't playing and I did it she wouldn't mind, she would be watching tv and ignore it or I would touch it while helping her with her homework. I never did this type of thing with the sister closer to my age. All I ever touched was her butt, I was just fascinated by it. I never laid a hand on her boobs or vagina. Well obviously now that I realize what I've done I FEEL TERRIBLE. I plan on apologizing very soon, pretty much the next time I'm home alone with her I'm going to. I'm going to tell her how sorry I am and that I hope she can forgive me for being such a horrible big brother. I still can't help feeling so wrong though. She is very popular in school and is finishing 9th grade now. I feel like a horrible individual and I don't know what to do. I think the main reason I posted on this site is simply to see if anyone else has experienced this or knows of something like this or whether I'm the only one. I also want to know whether I can get over it or it is some irredeemable condemnation. I do not want to go to therapy in case anyone puts that as a comment so please don't. It makes me feel like I have something to hide from other people and I feel like if I get into a truly deep and romantic relationship with someone in the future they will think it's sick or wrong and turn away from me. I just want to know I can be accepted. I've thought about talking about this with my parents but then decided against it. Is this even something that should be brought up in a relationship or is the story best left unsaid? Please help!

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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Cobrakitnu
    12 years ago | pl

    You were just curious, and your hormones were raging. It's normal. I wouldn't recommend saying anything. She probably doesn't remember. Unless you feel THAT guilty, talk to her. I'm sure she'll still love you.

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  • Balizong
    6 years ago | pl

    I did the same thing to my sister (she is older than me in 4 years) but I didn't really just touch it. I literally slapped it like a billion times but she doesn't really care.. well slightly slapped it. I didn't smack her butt and left a red mark. Hell no.

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  • LizzyN88
    5 years ago | pl

    It's still a crime to do so and many people end up juvenile sex offenders if it is reported. It may seem normal to most people, but the law says otherwise, and since incest is a crime, be careful what you disclose in person.

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  • chuy
    8 years ago | pl

    Normal dont over do it

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  • TylerMcDoodle
    10 years ago | pl

    Awkward and gross: yes. But, it's not like you did those worse thing that you pointed out that you didn't do. You were both young, kids really, and you were just getting hormones. Kids sometimes do some things that would be really messed up if they were adults but can be forgiven because they were kids. It doesn't justify it, but it's nothing that need haunt you. You were a little handsy, but in a way that today would get you slapped, not sent to jail forever. The most important thing is that you've learned your lesson. If you relationship with her is still good, it's not something you need to worry about.

    Maybe, if you have kids and you see history repeating itself, you can remember this and, instead of exploding or overeacting, you talk to your future son and daughter calmly and explain boundaries and stuff.

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  • thegift
    12 years ago | pl

    Awkward.

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  • mumbum
    12 years ago | pl

    I had a bf who wanked off his brother once when they were kids!! That was more odd and more extreme. What you describe is play that is so normal an exploratory. Definitely don't let it stress you. And also never ever tell anyone. Ppl don't understand. A simple apology to your sister is all you need. Don't make a big deal out of it... Good luck!

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    • HiThere5
      12 years ago | pl

      Hey, I'm confused, you said not to tell people yet your boyfriend told you. Did you react negatively when he told you because you said people don't understand this but obviously you understand. So you recommend I just don't bring it up down the road even with a future spouse?

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  • georgienne
    12 years ago | pl

    You're silly to rule out therapy.
    You messed up, you feel remorse, move on. She probably won't remember anything, but if you need to tell her a generic, 'I'm sorry for anything I did when we were younger.' if she does remember shell know you're sorry, if she doesn't it won't reremind her.

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  • dappled
    12 years ago | pl

    Why don't you want to go to therapy? Your whole post is about a problem you have and then you say you're going to refuse to do anything to deal with it. Why is talking about it here any different than talking about it with someone who is actually trained to help you?

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