Sounds like you've matured and ready to move forwards with your life. Unfortunately, you can't drag him with you kicking and screaming - so I hope he chooses you over the drugs.
It's not a matter of choice though. I agree with most of what you said Joybird, except the part where you said you hope he chooses her over the drugs.
Addiction is a DISEASE. Believe me I know. I work in the field of withdrawal management. My coworkers are Addictionologist doctors and Alcohol and Drug Counselors, all with their Master's Degrees in either Clinical Psych or Social Work. It's been proven that the brain of an addict/alcoholic is wired differently. It is a DISEASE. You wouldn't choose to have cancer or diabetes now, would you? It's not that he's CHOOSING the drugs over her, it's that he has no choice. Especially being an IV (intravenous)drug user the choice has definitely been taken away from him. He needs help. It's difficult to stop on your own. The disease of addiction is stronger then love for ones children or spouse, stronger then any car or great job, anything. Addiction/alcoholism wins over every time. Hello to the person who initialized this post, I wouldn't get back together with him until he gets clean first. He needs professional help. Suggest to him to call his nearest detox center. If you get back together with him while he's still using, it will only be heartbreak. Believe me, I've been there, done that. First of all, you will be ripping yourself off because you won't be with the same guy, you will hope to have him back as the guy he once was, but he's too sick. The drugs will ALWAYS come before you. If you get back together with him, I guarantee it you will be back using again, and this time you will probably start shooting up too. Also, if you want to stay clean, you will only be enabling his addiction by getting back together with him. He will have no reason to stop using as you will have accepted the whole package: the sick him, AND his disease of addiction. Make the right choice. I know in your heart you know what to do.
Good Luck!
Is it normal that I told my boyfriend it's me or the drugs??
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Sounds like you've matured and ready to move forwards with your life. Unfortunately, you can't drag him with you kicking and screaming - so I hope he chooses you over the drugs.
Stick to your ultimatum and good luck!!
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Dom67
11 years ago
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It's not a matter of choice though. I agree with most of what you said Joybird, except the part where you said you hope he chooses her over the drugs.
Addiction is a DISEASE. Believe me I know. I work in the field of withdrawal management. My coworkers are Addictionologist doctors and Alcohol and Drug Counselors, all with their Master's Degrees in either Clinical Psych or Social Work. It's been proven that the brain of an addict/alcoholic is wired differently. It is a DISEASE. You wouldn't choose to have cancer or diabetes now, would you? It's not that he's CHOOSING the drugs over her, it's that he has no choice. Especially being an IV (intravenous)drug user the choice has definitely been taken away from him. He needs help. It's difficult to stop on your own. The disease of addiction is stronger then love for ones children or spouse, stronger then any car or great job, anything. Addiction/alcoholism wins over every time. Hello to the person who initialized this post, I wouldn't get back together with him until he gets clean first. He needs professional help. Suggest to him to call his nearest detox center. If you get back together with him while he's still using, it will only be heartbreak. Believe me, I've been there, done that. First of all, you will be ripping yourself off because you won't be with the same guy, you will hope to have him back as the guy he once was, but he's too sick. The drugs will ALWAYS come before you. If you get back together with him, I guarantee it you will be back using again, and this time you will probably start shooting up too. Also, if you want to stay clean, you will only be enabling his addiction by getting back together with him. He will have no reason to stop using as you will have accepted the whole package: the sick him, AND his disease of addiction. Make the right choice. I know in your heart you know what to do.
Good Luck!
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joybird
11 years ago
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Aw :o( That's so sad :o(
I hope he gets help and she is strong enough to stay away until then.