Is it normal that i think that everyone looks like my crush?

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Basically, my sister is 14. She's got this crush on a really sweet guy, named Eddie. Anyway, we were out earlier (I'm 24) and there was this REALLY masculine lady, she kind of looks like a man (my guess is she's most probably a lesbian) and she looked at my sister. I didn't think anything of it, but later she [my sister, Martha] said that she got butterflies in her stomach, because the lady looked like Eddie (also masculine - he's a boy, so it figures). I didn't understand, so she told me, "the lady gave me a look which looked sooooo like Eddie."
Now my sister is really panicked, she thinks she may fancy this lady! (We've seen her around before, so she might live in the neighbourhood). So Martha thinks she's bisexual, or something.
But she fancies Eddie...so I don't think she is. Plus, if this lady did look kind of Eddie-ish, then it makes sense.
Either way, Marth needs these questions answering:
1. Does fancying a woman make you bi, even if she looks like your male crush?
2. Does liking masculine women make you bi, if you like men who are also masculine?
We've been over this a million times, I keep telling her that she fancies guys FIRST, so technically it's the guy she fancies, not this lady.
Could you comment on this, just to reassure her? She's crying! But she sees through lies like clean glass, so be honest! :)
Thanks
xxx

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • RedRubyRaven
    11 years ago | pl

    If you fancy a woman doesn't make you bi, Nor does like a woman because she reminds your crush make you bi. Nothings wrong so theres no reason to cry about it. :) Hope it helped!

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  • TerryVie
    11 years ago | pl

    Really, i'll make this short.

    You don't "worry you could be bi/homosexual".
    You know you are at some point. Go figure.

    Aside from the fact that her age almost implies a adventerous sexual nature, that does NOWHERE mean she's bisexual.

    While i am bi, i had a habit of masturbating together with another female classmate/friend from around her age up until we went to two different universities.
    That female friend is now happily married with children.
    She was not interested in a relationship, she had crushes and boyfriends even, it was just fooling around even while she was with male partners, and passed again when the contact got less and less. For her, just experimentation, experiences, and joy.

    What i am trying to say, even if Marth would find OTHER woman attractive, even feminine woman, that would not make her bi automatically. In her age, she can be curious and hormonally unbalanced all she wants, and even experimenting with other girls does not make her bi. Thats not to say she is not, but at that age, you try many things that you may give up again.
    The fact she only "fancied" this woman because she looks a lot like her crush, or gave her the same kind of look, basically means nothing about her sexuality.

    Heck, there's some croation male model that looks more feminine than many woman, i don't remember his name. I can assure you that most man would find him hot. Being attracted to certain features, to beauty, and to what you want to see in a person has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

    Now, i failed to make this short after all, but i hope she can stop worrying...and best of luck with her crush ;)

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    • Gelmurag
      11 years ago | pl

      Well said.

      My only point to add is, there is nothing wrong with being bi. Everyone I know in real life is...

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      • TerryVie
        11 years ago | pl

        true that, but around that age, it may be confusing, one may be ashamed, it may feel weird...

        My parents were moderately convervative in those things, and i know if i had not had my sister to support me, i would probably have taken a lot longer to open up to them about my nature.

        Depending on how and where you grew up, it may not be so simple as just accepting for yourself that you are not heterosexual.

        The girl here seems to be confused and worried about it, so basically, ya, being bi is perfectly fine. And fun. But at her age, i wouldn't consider her sexuality to be stable enough to "classify" her as any one of the options.

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      • Thewomanizer
        11 years ago | pl

        really...everyone??

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  • brown.eyed.girl
    11 years ago | pl

    this has happened to me before. Im 20 and completely straight. But when anyone (boy or girl) looks like a guy i fancy, then i automatically find them attractive. this is normal, she's not bi. not even bi-curious.

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