It's true that some girls can be mean when guys approach them. I should know... I am sometimes one of them. But we usually have good reasons for acting this way that men don't tend to think about. Maybe I can help you out? I'm 19, a college student, and an INTP/J as well. We're probably on the same wavelength here.
Anyway, being a relatively attractive female, I'm used to guys approaching me when I go out in public. Whether or not a guy is received well depends on a lot of different factors, but here are a few things to think about:
-Her personal safety/comfort. Is she walking somewhere alone? Are you in a secluded or more deserted area? Is she rushing to complete some task? Does she look stressed? In these more vulnerable situations, of course you'll be rejected. At the same time, if another guy is harassing her in a dodgy place, or she's rushing and trips, or drops something, this is the perfect opportunity to step in.
-Why did you approach her specifically? It's good to be honest. If your reason really is just that you find her physically attractive, it actually works better to come out and say so than to dance around it with awkward small talk. I would say something to the effect of, "I'm sorry, but you are seriously so gorgeous that I had to say something," except tailored to her more specifically. However, I would try to find something less superficial to go in with that you have in common, thereby giving you a good reason to talk to her. Is she reading a book you liked or were thinking of reading? Did a teacher just give out a difficult midterm? Saying, "I hope I studied hard enough for that test. How do you think you did?" to the girl next to you naturally leads to non-threatening conversation. After that, I'd think it would be easy to slip in a, "By the way, what's your name?" and so on.
-Appreciate that you are probably interrupting her, you are monopolizing her time without her consent, and she is not obligated to stand around listening to a stranger talk at her. Seriously. Can you imagine how annoying it would be have strange guys always coming up to you with the assumption that they have the right to hijack your time and attention? It doesn't hurt to be sensitive to this, and throw in a, "I'm sorry for disturbing you, I was just wondering..." or "I know how annoying it is to be interrupted when you're doing X-Activity, but..."
-Of course, there will always be rude people, but hopefully seeing this from a girl's perspective helps you out a bit.
Is it normal that I think I'm stuck as single forever?
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It's true that some girls can be mean when guys approach them. I should know... I am sometimes one of them. But we usually have good reasons for acting this way that men don't tend to think about. Maybe I can help you out? I'm 19, a college student, and an INTP/J as well. We're probably on the same wavelength here.
Anyway, being a relatively attractive female, I'm used to guys approaching me when I go out in public. Whether or not a guy is received well depends on a lot of different factors, but here are a few things to think about:
-Her personal safety/comfort. Is she walking somewhere alone? Are you in a secluded or more deserted area? Is she rushing to complete some task? Does she look stressed? In these more vulnerable situations, of course you'll be rejected. At the same time, if another guy is harassing her in a dodgy place, or she's rushing and trips, or drops something, this is the perfect opportunity to step in.
-Why did you approach her specifically? It's good to be honest. If your reason really is just that you find her physically attractive, it actually works better to come out and say so than to dance around it with awkward small talk. I would say something to the effect of, "I'm sorry, but you are seriously so gorgeous that I had to say something," except tailored to her more specifically. However, I would try to find something less superficial to go in with that you have in common, thereby giving you a good reason to talk to her. Is she reading a book you liked or were thinking of reading? Did a teacher just give out a difficult midterm? Saying, "I hope I studied hard enough for that test. How do you think you did?" to the girl next to you naturally leads to non-threatening conversation. After that, I'd think it would be easy to slip in a, "By the way, what's your name?" and so on.
-Appreciate that you are probably interrupting her, you are monopolizing her time without her consent, and she is not obligated to stand around listening to a stranger talk at her. Seriously. Can you imagine how annoying it would be have strange guys always coming up to you with the assumption that they have the right to hijack your time and attention? It doesn't hurt to be sensitive to this, and throw in a, "I'm sorry for disturbing you, I was just wondering..." or "I know how annoying it is to be interrupted when you're doing X-Activity, but..."
-Of course, there will always be rude people, but hopefully seeing this from a girl's perspective helps you out a bit.