Think about it in these ways maybe: a 30 year old person has had 12 years more of life experience than you. You can argue that age is relative, but generally to a 30 year old you are still a child. When you date someone you need to be at the approximately same level of emotional and mental maturity, otherwise, there is an inequality of power. They are physically and emotionally more developed. A common scenario is a young woman is intimidated by an older man and is more likely to fall for his manipulation because he is older, and wiser. It can quickly become a very scary mess. Honestly, just think about yourself dating someone 12 years younger than you. That's 6 years old! You grow a lot in 12 years. (Less as you get older of course, but still lots!) At the core of this is just that healthy older people don't want to date much younger people. If a 30 year old is interested in you, they are not someone you should be interacting with at all. It's hard to fully understand until you are older. But I suggest you ask the opinion of people you trust who are 30+. Trust their judgement, I promise they have perspective that you do not.
Agreed. I feel like a hypocrite saying this because not too long ago I had a huge crush on a much older man, and I totally get the appeal. But I'm glad I didn't act on it because I was too addicted to my feelings to look at the situation critically.
Even as a 26 year old I would feel like a pedophile dating an 18 year old. There's nothing wrong with you (OP) wanting to date a man that much older, but there would be something wrong with him wanting to date you. And even as eternally optimistic about human nature as I am, I would find it hard to believe that you'd be much more than a young body to him. Unless he was really dysfunctional either mentally, emotionally, or both - in which case yeah, not the best person to be dating.
Which is not at all to say that you're unintelligent, immature for your age, or anything bad about you - you just are the age you are, and the older you get the more you realize how crazy young that is and just how much a person changes in even a few short years. The most precocious 18 year old is still an infant in the world of adulthood.
IIN that I really want to be with an older man?
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Think about it in these ways maybe: a 30 year old person has had 12 years more of life experience than you. You can argue that age is relative, but generally to a 30 year old you are still a child. When you date someone you need to be at the approximately same level of emotional and mental maturity, otherwise, there is an inequality of power. They are physically and emotionally more developed. A common scenario is a young woman is intimidated by an older man and is more likely to fall for his manipulation because he is older, and wiser. It can quickly become a very scary mess. Honestly, just think about yourself dating someone 12 years younger than you. That's 6 years old! You grow a lot in 12 years. (Less as you get older of course, but still lots!) At the core of this is just that healthy older people don't want to date much younger people. If a 30 year old is interested in you, they are not someone you should be interacting with at all. It's hard to fully understand until you are older. But I suggest you ask the opinion of people you trust who are 30+. Trust their judgement, I promise they have perspective that you do not.
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radar
5 years ago
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Anonymous Post Author
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Agreed. I feel like a hypocrite saying this because not too long ago I had a huge crush on a much older man, and I totally get the appeal. But I'm glad I didn't act on it because I was too addicted to my feelings to look at the situation critically.
Even as a 26 year old I would feel like a pedophile dating an 18 year old. There's nothing wrong with you (OP) wanting to date a man that much older, but there would be something wrong with him wanting to date you. And even as eternally optimistic about human nature as I am, I would find it hard to believe that you'd be much more than a young body to him. Unless he was really dysfunctional either mentally, emotionally, or both - in which case yeah, not the best person to be dating.
Which is not at all to say that you're unintelligent, immature for your age, or anything bad about you - you just are the age you are, and the older you get the more you realize how crazy young that is and just how much a person changes in even a few short years. The most precocious 18 year old is still an infant in the world of adulthood.
Btw I like your name, snoopmoth :P
Take care of yourself, OP.
You make sense.
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snoopmoth
5 years ago
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I'm glad! Good luck
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Anonymous Post Author
5 years ago
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I'm not talking about like wrinkly old men by the way. I meant like old dudes who look young. Like I've always had a celeb crush on Anderson cooper
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snoopmoth
5 years ago
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I understand! No judgement at all!
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Anonymous Post Author
5 years ago
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Thank you for giving me such helpful advice :) I truely appreciate it.
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snoopmoth
5 years ago
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Of course!!! Take care