I think I understand your problem. It's not that you are gay, it's that you're surrounded by people who are prejudiced against homosexuality, something they consider is a bad thing. The solution seems elusive because you're trying to change yourself to fit their idea of what "should" be instead of what simply "is".
You're gay. Nothing you do will change that, so the quicker you accept that, the quicker you can look at these situations in a healthier light.
The first problem is the BF's family abusing you. If you like your BF, talk to him about cutting contact with the family. If that's an issue, you may have to leave him, but just remember that you aren't the only gay dudes around. You may not relate to the stereotypical effeminate gay man (or whatever), but there are normal guys out there who also just happen to be gay. Being gay doesn't mean you have to change everything about yourself to conform to this weird sub-culture. So, if things don't work out, don't despair.
I don't know how old you are, but you could consider relocating to an area that is more open-minded about that stuff. There's no point in sticking around in a place that feels hostile towards you. And definitely get in touch with the LGBT community for support and ideas. You might not relate to them, but they probably understand your problems better than anyone else. Anyway, good luck man. Hope it all works out for you.
IIN that I really don't want to be gay?
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I think I understand your problem. It's not that you are gay, it's that you're surrounded by people who are prejudiced against homosexuality, something they consider is a bad thing. The solution seems elusive because you're trying to change yourself to fit their idea of what "should" be instead of what simply "is".
You're gay. Nothing you do will change that, so the quicker you accept that, the quicker you can look at these situations in a healthier light.
The first problem is the BF's family abusing you. If you like your BF, talk to him about cutting contact with the family. If that's an issue, you may have to leave him, but just remember that you aren't the only gay dudes around. You may not relate to the stereotypical effeminate gay man (or whatever), but there are normal guys out there who also just happen to be gay. Being gay doesn't mean you have to change everything about yourself to conform to this weird sub-culture. So, if things don't work out, don't despair.
I don't know how old you are, but you could consider relocating to an area that is more open-minded about that stuff. There's no point in sticking around in a place that feels hostile towards you. And definitely get in touch with the LGBT community for support and ideas. You might not relate to them, but they probably understand your problems better than anyone else. Anyway, good luck man. Hope it all works out for you.