Is it normal that i question asperger's syndrome?

I have a friend with Asperger's and trust me, you 'd know... Not that everyone with Asperger's is the same; but I can only speak from experience.

I think that bizarrely, some disorders/"neurological differences" do come into fashion. You're right, there have been a few TV shows recently depicting characters with Asperger's (however in/accurately they chose to do this).

And somehow this becomes an attractive condition, like an exotic and interesting personality quirk. So people diagnose themselves online and then go around claiming to have Asperger's (whilst unburdening themselves of any need for social skills).

But you never really know, and labels are best ignored anyway, I think. So even if you think someone may be just using it as an excuse for poor social behaviour, I definitely wouldn't doubt their "diagnosis" or try and call them out on it. But don't accept it as an excuse either. And if they are irritating, treat them the same as anyone else.

From the post, I get the impression your friend might be making this shit up, but I'm definitely in no position to judge.

I've been diagnosed with aspergers by quite a few doctors.
There is more to it than just social problems. Also everyone with the diagnosis wont have the same symptoms.
For example I can make eye contact fine, am very extraverted for an aspie, and I'm very sensation seeking.
At the same time I have trouble understanding what is appropriate behavior although I've learned through experience. I've always been highly uncoordinated which to me is an obvious neurological impairment. My senses are a bit distorted. I probably only understand about 75% of what I hear and cant see if its light because it burns so much. There are clearly neurological symptoms that seem unlikely to ever be learned away the way I learned social skills. I'm intelligent but do horrible in academic settings and was in highschool until I was 22 because I failed miserably at school. I do not understand non-verbal communication well at all. On some tests I've took my reading peoples expression skill level was below someone with severe autism. As far as I can tell I don't think most people notice there is anything different with me although I am often accused of being drunk or high when I am not. I have a hard time identifying emotions too. I do not think the "no filter" thing is an excuse either. I have great difficulty thinking before I act because my actions and thoughts seem almost separated. Im not sure if that is something most people can understand. When I try to think of something and then do it, it comes out different than I planned. A lot of what I do seems automatic. For me aspergers is extremely dissociating. I do not have much internal monologue and in the same way you may wonder how someone doesn't think before they act I have a very hard time trying to imagine thinking before acting. This does create arguments with other people but I would hate to never talk so I express myself instead of being introverted like some people do.

The people you refer to seem like a bunch of teenaged twats trying to make sense of what, in all actuality, is probably just your typical social awkwardness that comes with adolescence.

I have been diagnosed with Aspergers myself although I don't believe it's an accurate diagnosis. I personally see it as an umbrella term for a cluster of behaviors that stem from mild autism. Ultimately, autism is a spectrum and I think that Aspergers should be erased so that the diagnosis can focus on the actual autism rather than the symptoms it creates.

I agree with the top comment, not everybody with the condition is the same. What does your friend do that's not socially acceptable, other than not respecting boundaries? I am an Aspie, I'm a very affectionate person but I do respect boundaries. I hug all my friends, but yeah, some people with AS don't like to be touched. I can usually understand how others feel, but it depends on the situation. I have sympathy but I can switch it on and off as it suits me.

If your friend knows her actions aren't acceptable and makes excuses, it sounds like she doesn't have it. But I could be wrong. Or maybe she has another disorder, Idk...she prob should see a specialist.

Like most disorders that lack painfully obvious symptoms, AS gets questioned a lot. "Painfully obvious" here context means obnoxious shit like running around in public with nothing but your underwear, worn on your head.

I've been diagnosed with it by a few different doctors, and I questioned the validity of the diagnosis for a while, but I've since accepted it. The disorder is real, but like most forms of autism, it's misunderstood.

If someone claims to have the disorder and hasn't received a formal diagnosis, that person is full of shit and wants to feel special. If a person does stupid shit and then says stuff like "sorry, I have AS" or "whoops, I don't have a filter," that person is using it as an excuse to act like a fucking retard. Most try to keep the disorder to themselves, and aren't prone to use it as an excuse for anything. There are exceptions, as always, but very few go advertising the condition. Most just wish that they could fit in like everyone else.

AS is not a social disorder, it is a neurological disorder with prominent social symptoms. Being awkward doesn't mean you have AS any more than having a cough means you have asthma.

The television shows are all bullshit. They're under-researched and exaggerate symptoms, creating caricatures, not characters. The only mass media depiction of AS that comes even *close* to a realistic portrayal is, ironically enough, South Park's episode "Ass Burgers," and I think they only hit some strings right because they weren't trying very hard.

People who have the disorder can come across as emotionless and lacking empathy, when, in most cases, the opposite is true: people with AS feel emotionless as acutely as others, and are, if anything, more empathic than their peers. The trouble is not in the feeling, it's in the expression. A person with AS lacks the innate ability to portray emotion in a normal way, although many exhibit profound emotion when overwhelmed. I've met a lot of people related to AS sufferers who were stunned by or even suspicious of the powerful and perfectly normal emotion displayed by their AS friends in extreme situations; most notably, when grieving. They say it's as if there's a whole side to the person with AS that they've never seen or even imagined before, one that feels and wants and hurts the way everyone else does.

I'm going to wax autobiographical here, for better or for worse. This is all based on my experience, nothing I've read or seen in others.

I've overcome many of the most debilitating aspects of the disorder, through a combination of medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, and personal growth. I'm not a very social person and doubt I'll ever be, but I can hold my own in a conversation when I need to. I have trouble speaking to some people, especially those I don't know well, but I hit it off with others and can chat for hours and hours.

I am a writer. Apparently, it's an unusual profession for people with AS, who tend to have trouble with expressing themselves. I've never had a problem doing so with words, only in casual conversation; like Lovecraft, I barely speak in person, but my written correspondence is voluminous. Even my online friends have a hard time believing the person who writes five- and six-page letters to each of them once a week is the same recluse that barely wants to talk on AIM and won't say a peep in chatrooms.

I tend to astound people who are aware of the disorder with the interactive scenes I write. I capture casual discourse and internal feelings during social interactions very well, such that people don't believe me when I tell them I'm not like that in real life. They can't seem to understand why, when it's so easy to write it, but the reason is eminently simple: when I'm writing, I'm doing both sides of the conversation.

There are still things I'm bad at. I can't accept praise or admonition, no matter how well-deserved, and I become overwhelmed if I'm the center of attention. I am terminally shy, and won't discuss anything I feel strongly about; people don't know my interests or real feelings about anything because I'm terrified of it being rejected or damaged. I have no self-confidence, and to this day I wonder when people will see that I'm just a fraud, and that nothing I do is worthwhile.

Back to your question, yes, it's normal to question the diagnosis, but that doesn't mean it's right. The way people dismiss or understate the disorder is akin to asking a person in a wheelchair why the hell he can't just get up and walk like everyone else.

people who use aspergers as an excuse for acting like a jerk earn my disgust. being an aspie is no excuse.

most of the people who act that way aren't really an aspie at all.

usually, if the incident is followed by a sincere apology (or several), then they probably are an aspie. if its followed by a "you should be sorry" or something else like that, then they're probably just a jerkass.

not to mention, there are many other tell-tale signs.

Thank you so much for your answer. I remember the same intrigue floating in the air when Britney Spears exhibited supposedly bipolar behaviors. I don't know why this is something people "want" to have, although I have heard of cases where some individuals got some benefits. For instance, the story of a girl who used Asperger's as a form of hardship and consequently got her student loans forgiven with no negative consequences. Instances like that disgust me, frankly.

Recalling things I have read about Asperger's, I do know some people who have listed behaviors, like sensitivity to light and sound (I know someone who constantly works with the lights off regardless of whether it is day or night), facial tics, and laughing out loud for no reason. But they certainly do not go around telling people they have Asperger's (If they indeed have it), and they seem to be able to hold full time jobs, drive, and conduct themselves professionally.

The girl who lives near me will talk about how people with Asperger's may be the next evolutionary step, as if those who do not have Asperger's are the new Neanderthals, or something like that.

She also says with conviction that you can become an anthropologist without a Ph.D. Kind of unrelated, but ugh, I'm so irritated.

But what infuriates me is this hypersexual behavior when she supposedly hates being touched. I guess that's how she is, being lesbian too, you know. If I don't want to return the advances, it's because I'm "conservative" and homophobic.

I don't mean to sound like a dick, just hear me out, but I think Aspergers at the moment is like the 90's ADD.

For example:

In the 90's if your kid was naughty and weird? It was ADD.

Now if your kid is naughty and weird? It's Aspergers.

I'm not saying that Aspergers isn't a real thing, I'm just saying that it seems the term is getting thrown around a lot lately.

Her excuses for bad behaviour shouldn't make you question the validity of an entire developmental disability.

I have Asperger's and find that people who use the excuse "I have Asperger's" don't usually have it.

People with Asperger's have underlying reasons why they can't "do the right thing" multiple times. For instance, sometimes when people talk to me, I say nothing back. This is not just "because I have Asperger's", and I'd never give you that explanation. Instead, I'd tell you that I'm at a loss for words, and don't know what to say in response. That if I could, I'd pause time and come up with something and say it, but I fail in the time I'm given to respond. Lots of looking back on events and thinking "if only I could have thought to say this".

Some people with Asperger's are assholes. Some people with Asperger's certainly do use their diagnosis or self-diagnosis as an excuse rather than a real reason. But it's so rare that I'd doubt the individual using such an excuse if the diagnosis is not official.

I love how so many on here self diagnose their problems. The internet is a great tool, but it can't replace a trained professional. Trying to save a few dollars, rupees or pesos (whatever) by seeking advice on sites like this about serious medical or psychological problems is just foolish.
I understand that in this case it is not you who you've posted about, but still, this girl may need to get to a medical professional before she harms herself or someone else.
As her friend, you both might be much better served by getting her to a doctor.