Is it normal that i push everyone i love away?

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I've always been a loner, and it has really affected my social life. Well, my whole life really. I have my moments where I seem to fit into the normal world, and then I just self-destruct completely.

Take now for example: I had a great friend, and everything was going well between us. And then as a joke, I decided to take something of his and hide it. When he found out I'd taken it he hit the roof and was very annoyed, even when I explained it wasn't malicious.

Now he doesn't trust me and the first thing I say is "Well if I'm such a bad friend, then maybe we shouldn't BE friends", a test I often give to people who get too close to me - he fortunately said he wanted to stay friends, but I'm not convinced he's happy with how everything stands.

I push people away and create my own problems - I'm my own worst enemy. I am a nice guy. I'm loyal and funny. I am mature and smart too. But when it comes to relationships with other people, I just screw everything up eventually and push people away.

Is this normal? Do you do this too?

Is It Normal?
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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    No, I can understand you, it's like everything can be fine, at least for me but then usually of my own making, I end up in a situation where I tend to push people away.

    I know why I do it though, it's a defense mechanism. If I push them away before they have a chance to leave or hurt me, I've saved myself from eventually being hurt. Of course, it's not true because it still hurts.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    I don't know if your normal but your friend's reaction sounds about right. I hate it when people move my stuff around; absolutely infuriating.

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  • Faceless
    12 years ago | pl

    Now, phoning a friend and telling them that their friend was hit by a car and is being rushed to the hospital, thats a funny prank. What you did was just cold and heartless.

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  • Ardetnormalt
    11 years ago | pl

    I do this a lot and I'm having a really hard time not doing it, I test everyone when they start to get close, and I hate doing it, but I can't stop. I just don't trust anyone, but anyway at least your funny, I literally make people feel like crap, and everyone's pretty much over it.. or over me?

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  • carlosspicyweiner
    11 years ago | pl

    Well really if your friend couldn't except a joke then well that's pretty assish blah

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  • Lia
    12 years ago | pl

    A lot of people don't enjoy people pranking them. Did you apologise? I'm sure your friend will forgive you if you do.

    You say you are loyal - so be loyal to your friends. I find it hard to get close to people, but once I do I really appreciate having that friend. Make sure your friends know you appreciate them; you won't be pushing them away then.

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  • evilcarrotman
    12 years ago | pl

    Yeah, it's normal. To me anyway. You have to stop yourself from saying those things to test your friendship. That's really unhealthy. When you make some really good friends, you won't ask that anymore.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    It doesn't matter whether your taking his stuff was innocent or not. It's how he took it that matters.

    Example: My friends don't like it when I punch them in the arm or shove them casually. It's a gesture of friendship to me but to them it means something entirely different so I stopped since I valued friendship more than I did being right over something that didn't matter.

    You should apologize for taking his stuff and recognize that all relationships have lines you can't cross. Or cross them and suffer the Wrath of Khan as you did. :)

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    12 years ago | pl

    What lol? Telling your friend that his friend was hit by a car is NOT worse than taking something which he doesn't need or hasn't looked at in ages only to give it back to him? Umm yeah, maybe I AM the normal one...

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    oh thats sad people dont understand you, you like fun and that is good, explain yrself fully before each prank so theres no surprizes

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