There's clearly and underlying issue causing you to feel this trauma and self-loathing. You might not really know it now, seeing as you haven't explored that possibility. (Your sub-conscious is a powerful thing.)
I'm only saying this because I've realized this about myself recently. I am way to damn hard on myself. My self-esteem is low, even though I too highly praised at my place of work for outstanding performance. I have a great figure and lovely freckles and a cute nose. <3 ..Anyways, my naivety to this damage I was doing to myself caused a lot of pain for myself down the road. I am very insecure and let things get to me, I'm not really comfortable in my own skin.
Possibly this could be similar to your experiences? I also can say my behavior is related to a mood disorder and a history of depression. I have found certain green medicine that has worked the best for my social anxiety/depression. In turn helping me be more capable to be comfortable with myself again. Probably want to talk to a doctor, I didn't like anti-depressants. Smoking a jay doesn't make me feel like a hallow zombie. But it's not for everyone.
Is it normal that i never feel good about myself?
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There's clearly and underlying issue causing you to feel this trauma and self-loathing. You might not really know it now, seeing as you haven't explored that possibility. (Your sub-conscious is a powerful thing.)
I'm only saying this because I've realized this about myself recently. I am way to damn hard on myself. My self-esteem is low, even though I too highly praised at my place of work for outstanding performance. I have a great figure and lovely freckles and a cute nose. <3 ..Anyways, my naivety to this damage I was doing to myself caused a lot of pain for myself down the road. I am very insecure and let things get to me, I'm not really comfortable in my own skin.
Possibly this could be similar to your experiences? I also can say my behavior is related to a mood disorder and a history of depression. I have found certain green medicine that has worked the best for my social anxiety/depression. In turn helping me be more capable to be comfortable with myself again. Probably want to talk to a doctor, I didn't like anti-depressants. Smoking a jay doesn't make me feel like a hallow zombie. But it's not for everyone.
Hope I helped in some way. Toodles.