Is it normal that i miss being depressed and self harming?

Maybe being sad is more comfortable. I'm afraid to be happy because I don't want it all to come crashing down or have the rug pulled under my feet, even worse if it was all an illusion.

I think it's a bigger phenomena than you might think. Lots of people listen to melancholic music and stay bitter, because its easier than opening up and being vulnerable. It's like you're always the victim but you're the victor at the same time because you chose to be melancholic.

happy peoples gots less grip on reality

You're probably still slightly depressed.

No it's not. If you want to self harm and feel depressed. You probably ARE depressed, and masochistic. Feeling depressed is a pain in the ass, but masochism is dangerous and stupid, seek help.

Aww honey, its perfectly normal but please please please dont hurt yourself. The sadness is kind of like a safety net. Id rather be sad for the right reasons than happy for the wrong ones but dont you dare damage your beautiful body.

I understand how you feel.

It probably feels safer to be sad because you have control of it, you don't have to worry about someone else taking your happiness away. Whenever I'm happy I feel like I'm always waiting for something to fall apart. It probably comes from being let down a lot in the past.

I think that's pretty normal. I was depressed/self harming for a pretty long time, and I've been healthy (with some slip-ups) for 6 months now, but I've recently been thinking the same thing. That I miss being sad. My therapist was saying that it's probably because I spent so much time feeling that way, that it got comfortable. It was something I was used to, and I didn't have to think about it.

I'm afraid to be happy sometimes... When I'm happy I remember the other times I was happy and it was taken away from me. Then it feels even worse because I know what I'm missing out on.