Is it normal that i masturbate to / fantasize about someone i hate?

A bit of background, I'm a hetero-romantic, bisexual, female and I'm in love with a male celebrity. However, since he got a girlfriend and I follow her on Tumblr and see many of her photos, I've started having a mix of feelings for her.

At first (and until now), I hated her. I found her pretty but not beautiful. As the celebrity in question's fans continued to fawn and dote over her, saying how wonderful and sexy and pretty she was, it made me sick. I didn't want to look at her.

I had this ebb and flow of jealousy towards her but I didn't want to admit it because I find her annoying and, frankly, an attention whore (not in the sense that she seeks a healthy amount of attention but in the sense that she deliberately seeks sexual attention from fans and the public and interacts with them on a regular basis, pretending to be all cute and innocent - and no amount of attention and praise seems to be enough for her).

Now I'm not the most attractive person in the world and I hate that she has it all. She has him, she has money, she has adoration and worship, but most importantly, she has good looks.

I think it's because of her looks that she has had all the privilege and opportunity that life has to offer.

Anyway, I had a dream in her in it where she was actually nice and friendly to me. We talked and laughed and I think she even hugged me. She actually befriended me and we became friends. I remember even thinking in the dream that I was so wrong about her and wanting to tell her all about how I was mistaken about her and how I had misjudged her all along. It was weird.

During one part of the dream, I saw her in a white blouse and nothing underneath. No pants, no underwear, nothing. I remember seeing her pussy and her ass and her skin was so soft, pale and flawless. I remember thinking how pale and petite and pretty she was.

After I woke up from that dream, I was so confused and conflicted because I still hated her but a part of me softened up to her.

I maintained that I still hated her anyway and carried on with my feelings of loathing and disdain and ultimate burning contempt for her until I started masturbating one time when I was very horny.

I remembered seeing her naked in my dream. I remembered the soft feelings I had for her and the more I tried pushing those feelings away, the more turned on and aroused I was by her.

So I decided to only allow myself to fantasize about her just this once while I was masturbating and continue to hate her once I'm done.

And now, every time I masturbate, not only do I think about her sexually but I even fantasize about falling in love with her and admitting my feelings to her.

What is this madness? o.O

Is this even normal? How do you explain it? I guess there's a fine line between love and hate, or shall I say, lust and hate after all.